


Lost Stars in the Eyes of a Dancer

by dandelion_daisies



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Incest, M/M, Meaningful sex, Multi, Stripper!Dipper, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Writer!Bill, bill trying his hardest to be nice, cinnamon roll dipper
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-05-03 18:32:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 32,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5302346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dandelion_daisies/pseuds/dandelion_daisies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He often came here to find love in a lap dance, but not once had he expected to find this kind. Glitter rained down like the glistening of stars. His eyes shone with something special. His smile was like an angel, but the way his fingers glided felt sinful to the touch. Then, there's the dancer with so much of his past and his emotions haunting him, and in comes a man making him remember things he only wanted to forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I originally got the idea after reading All That Glitters by IlanaNight, but roles switched with Bill being the writer and Dipper being the dancer. Dipper has problems and Bill isn't making it any easier for him.

In the autumn’s cold, Bill found himself drawn back there again. The House of Mysteries. He’d lure himself to the dance club occasionally to drown himself in shows and lap dances in order to grab his attention away from the stress of writing another word. Women and men alike strode around with paper thin fabric, barely keeping anything to the imagination, as they dutifully served drinks along with other pleasures to their faithful customers. He chugged down the beer waiting for the scheduled show to finally start. He didn’t usually come in the mornings, but after finally submitting the final chapters which his editor gave a stern shout about for his postponement, he couldn’t help but masking himself back in the strong smell of perfume and alcohol. He was glad this place opened 24/7. It really was a Mystery House with the amount of people it held even in the mornings, not to mention both men and women dancing together with no disgust in the crowd towards either of the dancers. What a strange place this was.

Suddenly the lights dimmed further than they already were as a spotlight shone brightly against the glittery red curtains positioned at the center stage. Curtains rose after another minute of heart pumping music as it lowered to the beginning of another. Strong legs held by tall, stick thin, shimmering black heels stood confidently behind the silver beam. The curtain rose slowly higher. Lean, yet toned abs hovered against the pole. Fair skin masked lavishly by light dusts of glitter and only a small strip of pleather bootie shorts to cover him. And higher, the red curtains revealed more of him. His shoulders broad, yet small. His fingers wrapped around the perimeter in front of him in a tight, yet gentle grip. And finally it rose higher. He was revealed the splendor in its entirety. His face flushed with tinges of pink hid behind a more than generous amount of glitter, just like the rest of his body. Eyes sharply lined with eyeliner and a smoky galaxy swiped across his closed lids, an array of multicolored glitter splayed benevolently around them. His hair, which held no less glitter, was slicked back openly showing off his forehead that curiously held what looked like a constellation right dab in the middle of it. With all the glitter and make up, it made the painting look more like stars spread across him. Like a cosmic galaxy, he caught the writer’s eye. He couldn’t even say if he looked real.

A large announcement welcomed the opening dancer, Big Dipper, followed by a round of applause. But it didn’t faze the dancer none. His chest sucked in a breath as a few strings of dark curls fell off its gelled bed of hair, draping seductively over his face. He stood unmoving as the slow music played for more than a second longer. Then, it came. Like a wave of roaring glitter. With a snap of the eyes when the music finally dropped to a mass of bass and beat, he began his ritual. Following the beat, he bounced around the pole with smooth, calculated movements. Enticing the audience with a flick of a finger and a wave of a hand. It was ethereal. It was unbelievable. It captured Bill. But not from just his dance. It came from his eyes like sweetness. His sharp eyes sprayed across the crowd in equal parts, but Bill captured in his brown orbs. Brown orbs ordinary like none other, but his eyes spelled something special. Like stars, it glistened.

He’d never seen this boy before. He’d been here so often he knew nearly everyone by first-name bases despite their strict rules on keeping names a secret. He was more than just friendly and all the dancers fell into his entrapment, which he didn’t mind. But he didn’t know this one. He looked new, but his movements more than begged to differ. Smooth and elegant. Hard and sensual. It felt energetic, fun even. And the smile that curled his lips as he spun playfully around the pole spelt his enjoyment.

He’d never in his life been a prisoner to anyone like he had with this boy. His spunky movements spread across the length of the pole sent him in a trance. He’d never seen pure joy in any of the other dancers as he’d seen in the eyes of this one. Then, his eyes connected with Bill’s. The writer couldn’t hold back his wide eyes and jaw dropped mouth as the glint in the dancer’s eyes gleamed with what looked like a small chuckle. His movements suddenly became larger, more eccentric. Eyes occasionally connected with his, seeming like he was dancing for his eyes only, but the cheering around him set him back to reality.

As the dance continued on further, he could see the boy connecting eyes with him more and more often. The more he moved, the more glitter rained down from his grandiose swings. With legs hugging tightly around the length of the pole, it drizzled down like the twinkling of stars. Never before had he seen more stars than he had in this moment. And to the writer, a wink from shimmering eyes pierced him faster than a shot of an arrow. What a wonder this boy was. With his peculiar dance style, he could’ve burn every little movement into his mind if he wasn’t so intoxicated.  

His mind was slapped back from his fantasies when the dancer ended his ritual with a bang along with end of the song. The room filled with applause, whistles, and shouts for an encore, but Bill couldn’t find himself to clap along. His eyes were glued to the brown orbs and his was glued to his blue ones. The grin turned to a toothy smile before he bowed to the crowd. His eyes finally tore away from the blue when he spun around exiting to the backroom with a sway of strong hips as another dancer entered in his place.

“Oh, hey Bill. It’s unusual seeing you here so early in the morning.” A familiar voice rung from behind him.

“Venus!” Bill startled from his spell with a sudden pat to his back. “Hey, who was that kid just now? Is he new?”

“New? That’s Dipper. He’s been here for a while, actually.” The blond dancer blinked with surprise in her eyes. “What? You interested?”

“I’ve never seen him here before.”

“Probably because he doesn’t usually dance center stage anymore,” she paused a bit before continuing, “Plus he only works during the day.” Her brow arched with a glance away from him to a view off to his side.

“Well, hey there Mr. Wide-eyes” a deep voice rung seductively into his ear as glittery hands stained around his white collared shirt from behind. Bill nearly jumped at the sound. He shot his eyes to the man whose chin rested on his shoulders with a smug grin stretched across his face. He could now see the face so closely next to his. With the heels he wore, he was just about the same size as Bill. His beady brown eyes sparkled with the same multicolored glitter that spread across his body. The writer lined his eyes over his lips, puckered with shimmery cherry red gloss. His cheeks rose red under the speckles of glistening light floured across them.

“Well, I’ll leave you two alone.” Venus chuckled as she clicked away with her 6 inch heels to serve the drinks still in her hand.

The boy who wrapped around him waved one hand to her as she left before the arms released from him. Fingers glided across his back before sliding down his arm to intertwine between his. “Come.” With a single word of instructions, he led Bill to a booth before pushing him down to a seat. Glitter dusted legs spread on either side of the writer’s as his ass seated on his thighs, arms wrapped around his neck. “Hello.” His smile cracked as their eyes connected once more.

“Hi.” Bill breathed in the eyes that shone across his. With each small movement of his eyes as the dancer ogled him up and down, he could see the stars glistening in them. As if this was where lost stars hid when they fell from their skies. In the eyes of the dancer. The strong orbs narrowed to a smile as a soft chuckled exited his voice.

Hips rose from his lap as they swayed its way up, inches away from his face. But his eyes never left the dancer’s, and his never left the writer’s. The dancer licked across his lips as he fingered through his gelled-back hair, loosening his curls from their hold. Glitter rained from above him as they dusted themselves onto his cheeks. His eyes blinked to another chuckle as he swiped his thumb across the writer’s cheeks, brushing away the stars from his face.

And finally his eyes slipped close, blinding the writer’s view from the galaxy that sucked him in. But his vision reverted to another sight. The hips swaying across his chest and face, his chest banged to the sound of the music, and his fingers lined all across the writer’s being. It was more than sensual. He’d often come here to find love in a lap dance, but not once had he expected to find this kind. His hips swaying in a rhythmic way Bill enjoyed, his fingers crawled in a way Bill loved, and the sweet nothings he whispered in his ear made him jealous of the words that left his mouth. A sweet smell of maple syrup filled his lungs. He smiled like an angel, but danced like a devil above him.

Bill’s grin mirrored the dancer’s, drunk off the music, the alcohol, and, most importantly, the boy above him. His movements were heavenly devilish. Each sway of his body left a deep scar into him. The dancer’s hand rubbed down his chest when he noticed a small tattoo on his right ring finger. A pine tree. It was plain and simple, but kind of adorable. Bill’s soft chuckle vibrated against his touch.

“Hey” his voice deeply ringing against his ear, “my shift’s up, but if you take me home, I’d be more than glad to continue dancing for you.” His hands felt down the writer, dangerously around his legs. “You can pay after we’re done.” His voice blowing deeper with the words sent a small shiver down his spine.

“Isn’t that against the rules?” Bill chuckled, blowing a similar seductive voice against the dancer’s.

“I won’t tell if you don’t.” His playful voice returned his chuckle as he glided his hands back up the glitter stained shirt.

“Deal.” Bill’s grin widened further, if that was even possible. He’d already taken much of these dancers home, so what’s one more to his list?

“Great!” The shining man pulled away, looking back to the writer. “I’ll meet you in the back.” His eyes narrowed playfully along with his voice as he released the writer from between him to return back to the dressing room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Bill falls for him.   
> Savor this moment because it'll be a while until the next billdip bed scene.

Bill perked as he heard the back door squeak open. High heels and a bare glittered body with a sports bag wrapped over a shoulder exited the door. He didn’t bother to get dressed or clean up. His shining arms wrapped around the writer in an embrace unlike his previous one as his lips suddenly enveloped the latter’s. “Well, hello again Mr. Wide-eyes” he breathed against his lips. Even closer than before, he locked into his eyes. Truly, they were like galaxies.

Their way back, the dancer kept a tight lock onto the writer’s arm. The sun lazered against his glittering body as his heels clicked with each step. If this was a populated city, he would’ve caught eyes of everyone on the street; however, since there was nearly no one but a few cars passing by every couple seconds in this small town, there was no worry in the latter’s costume. It was also a relief to the dancer that the writer’s apartment was just about a block away.

The dancer never said a word of complaint as he shuffled through the mess of his home. Bill led the man swiftly by the hand to his bedroom before falling into it with a passionate clash against his lips. The dancer towered over him, powering and domineering, as he spread his knees over writer like he had before. And he grinned. He eyed over the being of the man on the bed. Glitter sprayed generously across his lips and chest. And the thought that even more glitter would soon spread across his bare body like a swirl of galaxies sent him a slight chuckle.

Though the curtains closed and lights off, the soft sun still kissed against the glistening body. The shine dressed across the body above him looked almost heavenly. The hand that smoothed through his hair sent him in a sweet trance. Bill feathered his touch up his thigh as the boy kissed against his lips, but were parted when he chuckled. The boy pulled the light hands off his thighs to tighten around his waist. “Why don’t you have a little fun today, ya?” Like a surge of lightning, his playfulness shot a heated tingle throughout his body.

Fingers lined the thin figure before wrapping him tight around the waist. He could feel a grin across the lips that pecked against his neck. With a lick of the lips, he released from his neck, pulling back to look at the whole of the body under him. He grips the digits that wrapped his waist and guided them downward to his small, tight pair of pants. He twisted his fingers to lead Bill’s under the belt of it. Then, he let go to let Bill do the rest.

The dancer was, to say no less, a… sensational being of pleasurable entertainment. He was rough and domineering, but most dancers like him were. But what gave him way were the playful chuckles and eccentric swaying hips. Like his dances, he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Like his dances, his audience always enticed him further.

But now he was dancing for his eyes only.

Sweet moans with half lidded eyes splayed between hot breaths as he slid down the length. Calculated movements spent Bill down the hill and up to cloud nine. His honey-like voice singing sweet nothings rung through his ears like he was in a goddamn love story. If ever he’d write a romance, he’d use every word straight from the dancer’s lips. He was sent seeing stars. Before he knew it, he was so drunk off the dancer; he can only see things in hazy, blurred vision. He remembered the smile of the dancer, his laughter, his stimulating being. The boy sent him off the edge and right into a deep sea of him. 

But in the morning after – or night in this case – he woke up alone with a cold shiver down his back. He rose from his bed, turning on his lamp to find no one beside him. The dancer had left, leaving a cold small dent in his lonesome bed along with a pile of glitter across his body and sheets. He looked over to his nightstand to find his wallet raided with a note alongside it.

_Thanks for a good time._

_-Dipper_

Bill rubbed the back of his head before sighing. He didn’t even catch his name yet.

\----

For the past few weeks, Bill hadn’t had the time to return back to the club to find the boy with the work he was swamped with from the start of the third book of his trilogy. His editor needed the next chapter by the end of next month, but Bill couldn’t get so much as a page out from his swarming thoughts that always happened to return back to the dancer. He couldn’t even take it in himself to clean up the mess of glitter across his floor and doorknob. Honestly, he kinda didn’t want to. It felt kinda amusing finding speckles of glitter hidden in random places. Even for the longest time, he lined his eyes on the glitter pile across the outside hall of his apartment before his neighbor across from him took it in himself to clean it all up for him. Despite his regularly showers, he’d even still find small random specks of sparkle across his skin every day. But the thoughts of the dancer everywhere didn’t help his book none.

He needed a break. He returned back to the book store for the third time this week to relax himself as he checked up on the sales of his newly released book. He knew the sales from this small town didn’t account for the whole world, but he couldn’t help finding joy in every book sold. He walked down the horror&mystery aisle of the store when that’s there was where he saw him again. The dancer. It took him more than a minute to realize who he was from the lack of makeup and glitter, not to mention the overly sized turtleneck sweater and hat he wore which both bore symbols of pine trees, but it only made him remember the pine tree tattoo on his finger as it was lifted up to his ear talking on the phone.

“So, Pacifica, you up for movie night tonight or what?” Bill hid himself behind a random book as he glanced to the boy. Pacifica. That just reconfirms it. He’s friends with Venus from the House of Mysteries. The headphone around his neck rung somewhat loudly around him as it beat a familiar tune. And he was holding his book, the second of his series, as he played with the pages with his thumb. He wasn’t reading it because he was looking away from the book in his hand to the array of his other books on the table – which each were nearly sold out, mind you – but he couldn’t help but feel a little warmhearted from him holding one of his books. Then he heard a familiar chuckle. “Sure thing. I’ll keep the seat warm for you till you get there then.”

“Naw, it’s ok. Don’t worry about it, Paz. You gotta make money somehow, right? Oh, but tell Grenda if she wants to come, she better buy her own popcorn because all of mine end up mysteriously disappearing whenever she comes over for movie nights.” Bill glanced over to the hand playing with his book, but his mouth twitched at the sight. He was wearing a small ring over his left ring finger. It looked pretty expensive. Not something one would wear casually. Was he married? Did he already have someone he loves? Does that mean he just had an affair with him? He shouldn’t have felt as surprised and shocked as he currently was considering it was just a one night stand with him.

A chuckle sent his mind back to the boy. “Of course I got a movie picked out. It’s not a Mable Movie Night without one of her favorites. Don’t worry, you’ll love it. And by love it, I mean hate it. Profusely.” His laugh was heavenly, but the thought of it not being for him let him down. He finally closed the book as he hung up the phone with a ‘see ya’ and a smile glued to his face. He playfully tossed the book in his hand as he turned to head for it to purchase. Bill lowered his book, slightly hoping he’d notice and recognize him, but the boy passed by him without even a glance towards him. He just hummed by along with the song under his ears. Bill followed to a certain degree behind him as he watched him buy his book before slipping the headphones back onto his head, now nodding to the beat.

Before he exited the store, Bill decided to call out to him. “Hey.” He grabbed onto his arm before he left. He jumped to the touch with a cute little squeak before the boy slipped off his headphones to look at him.

“uh, yes? Can I…help you?” the boy looked at him with curious eyes. Those eyes stared back at his. Eyes that he oh-so-remembered, but the boy didn’t have the same thought. He earnestly looked like he didn’t even have a clue of his existence.

“You don’t remember me?”

“umm sorry… did we have a class together or something?”

“uhh, no. From the club.”

The boy shocked his eyes as he shaped his mouth to an ‘o’. “oh… uh s-sorry. I-I’m not, uh, I’m not supposed to meet visitors outside the club. Sorry, I have to go.” His panic flustered movements tore his arm back before he scurried out the door.

Bill narrowed his eyes. He’s going to visit him tomorrow morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what Mabel Movie Nights consists of? Lot and lots of sugary sweets and junk food, confetti glitter, and the most ridiculous and most comfortable pajamas. Only smiles are allowed in. But Mabel Juice is banned. 
> 
> I’d also like to point out that I did just give a really small hint at some Billcifica in their past (from him knowing her real name), but it doesn’t affect the story none.


	3. Chapter 3

“Well, hello there.” The arms once again circled around his neck and legs separated over him in a warm embrace. The grin cracked back on his face as he looked back into the starry brown orbs, face powdered with glitter. As soon as Bill entered the club, he immediately requested for ‘Dipper’ which he so willingly complied. But his eyes still held the lack of remembrance towards him.

“Hi.” Bill grinned as the dancer mirrored back his smile. The dancer began danced over the writer once again in a familiar trance. His hips swayed down in an upbeat rock to the beat of the song. His hands glided through hair in a familiar touch. And glitter rained down like the falling of stars. “Do you remember me?” But his voice stopped the dancer’s movements.

“oh, um, sorry. Are you a regular? I don’t. I don’t think I remember you.” His arms still wrapped around him as he spoke in an apologetic tone.

“Really? I’d say I had a nice time with you. Hope you weren’t lying when you wrote you had a good time.”

Though masked with glitter and makeup, the dancer eyes shocked to a familiar wide as his mouth once again shaped into an ‘o’. “o-oh. Mr. Wide-eyes.” Bill grinned at his sudden recollection, but thinned as the dancer tried to once again scurry away. “uh, um. Sorry. I have to- uh, to go.”

“Hey wait.” Bill grabbed at his waist before he could get off from his legs.

The dancer startled at the grip and tried squirming away further. “H-hey, dude, let go.” His hand slipped from the dancer’s waist with a sudden push of the dancer, but Bill swiftly caught back the waist into his hand.

“I said wait” he growled.

“D-dude! What the hell’s wrong with you?! Let go! G-Grenda! Help!” The dancer pulled at the hand, trying to squirm away. The writer, however, had not let go until he boy started screaming for help, and once he did, did he notice the tight grip he held on him from the bright red patch evident even under all the glitter.

“S-sorry.” Bill flinched his hands away, but the dancer had already fled away with the club guard entering his view. Shit. He’d done it again.

“You alright Dipper? What’s wrong?” a deep voice questioned as he left the room.

“I’m fine. That guy’s just crazy.” He heard the dancer snarl before fleeing back into the dressing room. The guard eyed him before finally kicking him out with a warning.

His walk home was not a proud one. He rubbed his head, regretting his actions. Hopefully he wasn’t scared away. Hopefully he wouldn’t remember him in a bad light the next time he saw him.

The next time he met him, however, was when we was out shopping for groceries. He’d purposefully avoided the club that week in hopes that the dancer wouldn’t remember him for his stupidity.

The dancer was in casual clothing again with the same pine tree hat and headphones over his ears as he nodded along. Though he did wear a sweater again, this one now held a cartoonish shooting star over it.

Bill hesitantly walked up to him, but sucked up his courage as he stood next to him. The boy glanced over to the man suddenly appearing in his peripheral before returning his sight back to the dairies. Bill breathed out the breath he held back, relieved for once that he hadn’t remembered him, before he noticed a familiar book under his arm. It was his book. Maybe…maybe he can use that to strike up a conversation?

“H-hey.” Bill tapped at the boy’s shoulder. The boy flinched at the sudden touch and looked over to the man.

“Yes?” he slipped off his headphones, still playing its song from under his ears.

“Is that…Mindscape from The Journals trilogy by B. C. Pher?” Bill questioned, rubbing his neck.

The dancer blinked at the sudden strike of conversation, but perked up as soon as he took in the question, “y-ya. Ya. You’ve read it?” His smile made the writer melt.

“Ya. It’s, uh, it’s pretty good.”

The dancer scoffed. “Pretty good? Just ‘pretty good’?! This is my Bible you’re talking about. This is a masterpiece to say no less!” He flailed the book in his fingers to the man, eyes gleaming with joy, before noticing the blank stare of surprise covering the stranger’s face. “S-sorry. I just get really excited about The Journals. None of my friends read it, so I was kinda left hanging with no one to talk to about it.” The dancer embarrassingly rubbed his neck.

Bill blinked, not expecting such high praises from this boy. Praise, in general, was enough to send a crack of a smile to his face, bit one so highly from this boy made his heart grip at his words. “N-no. Don’t worry about it. I know what you’re talking about. It’s a great book. I’m really in love with it.” He wasn’t used to flattering his own book, but he didn’t mind doing it for him.

“Really? It’s amazing, isn’t it?” the brunette chuckled at his words, releasing the embarrassment he’d felt with a sigh as the latter thought the same as he did.

“Ya, I really liked the ending. The cliffhanger was really something, right? I’m sure the next book is going to be a roller coaster.”

“Whoa. You already read to the ending?! No spoilers man!” the dancer chuckled as he cursed to himself for the thought of knowing a cliffhanger coming as he’s going to read the rest of the book.

The writer chuckled. “I’m Bill, by the way. Bill Cipher.” He extended his hand to the other.

“Dipper. Dipper Pines.” He took the hand and shook.

“Dipper?” the writer scrunched his brows. Was he using his club name outside?

“Oh, uh, that’s just a nickname. Everyone calls me that. I’ve got, like, a weird birthmark on my forehead of the Big Dipper” he said as he timidly lifted his hat, showing off the dots that lined over his head for a quick second before smoothing his hat back on him. Bill had thought the dancer had just painted the constellation over himself, but it turned out to be a birthmark. That was surprising. “…Quit looking at me like that. I know it’s abnormal.”

Bill snapped his thoughts back to the boy in front of him, not even realizing his own expression on his face before he switched back to a grin. “No. No, I wasn’t thinking that. Just thinking it’s pretty cool.” Or adorable he should say.

Dipper once again scoffed. “Ya, right.”

“No, seriously. No a lot of people come by a coincidence like that. It’s pretty cool. Plus stars are awesome. Who doesn’t love stars?”

“Um, thanks, I guess.” Dipper chuckled.

The two talked energetically (more so on Dipper’s part than Bill) about the books as Bill strained certain points, foreshadowing certain events in the ending as well as some points in the third book unsuspectingly to the dancer. The dancer animated theories he had for the third book as Bill chuckled in himself, noting a few ideas he should probably put in the next book. They’d talked for nearly hours before Dipper finally noticed how long they’ve talked when he felt a buzz of a text in his pocket.

“Oh shit. It’s this late already? Crap, I gotta go.” The dancer dug into his pockets before pulling out a pen and grabbing Bill’s arm. “You should call me. I’d love to talk more about the book with you.” He chuckled as he wrote down his number on the writer’s arm. Bill’s heart clenched at the thought of seeing him again, next time as friends and maybe even something more. But again, his eyes fell upon the ring on his finger and his smile twitched. The dancer spun around with a bounce as he waved him a goodbye.

“See ya later Pine Tree.” The dancer stopped his movements and looked back to the writer inquisitively. Bill chuckled as he pointed to his head, signaling the hat on his head.

The dancer rolled his eyes with a chuckled before heading back down the aisle. “Bye Bill. See you later” he said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice, but the blonde’s heart nearly skipped a beat at the call of his own name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, i just wanted to get this chapter over with.   
> Mabel in the next chapter. Sort of.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, Bill called the boy, but he didn’t answer. After a few hours, a call finally rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey, this is Bill right?” The familiar voice sent butterflies to his stomach. What the fuck? Was he some high school girl or something? He clenched at his stomach to try and calm his nerves.

“Ya. Hey Pine Tree.”

“Sorry I couldn’t answer right away. I was at class when you called me.”

“Class? You in high school or something?” Bill joked, but the thought kinda sent him into a short disturbing distress.

“Oh, god no. Those were horrible times. I’m in college right now.” A laughter rung through the phone. “So you free anytime soon?”

“I’m always free.”

He chuckled “What? You unemployed or something?” But his joke was easily dismissed with his next question. “Look, I’m kinda in a bit of a dilemma right now. Don’t worry, nothing bad. But do you mind coming over to my place?” Bill was left speechless over the phone. “I know it sounds weird coming from a stranger. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, but I’m in a bit of a tight spot right now.”

“Uh, ya. Sure. I don’t mind. No problem.” Bill blanked with disbelief showering his face. “So, what kind of problem are you having exactly?”

“Like I said, nothing bad. It’s just that I’m moving soon, and I need someone to help me pack up my stuff. The moving truck is coming tomorrow and I kinda procrastinated too long and none of my stuff is packed. Most of my friends are busy tonight and my usual go-to woman is out partying, that bastard, so I’ve got no one to turn to.”

“You, uh… moving?”

“Ya. Not far though. Just a bit in, closer in the town. My apartment’s old and is being abolished soon. So will you help me?”

“Y-ya. Totally! Sure! Just tell me where you’re at.”

“Alright. Cool! I’ll text you my address. Thanks Bill. You’re a life saver.”

Bill smiled at his phone for the longest while, taking in the situation. Once he finally did, he screamed from his success so loudly he could wake up his night owl of a neighbor.

Bill drove over as quickly as possible the moment Dipper sent him his address. It was quite a ways off, right at the edge of the town. The place looked old and broken. Then he caught sight of a pair of eyes as he was waved over. He wearing the same hat, but didn’t have on the usual sweater and headphones set he wore. Instead he wore a thin tank top with shorts. Bill was once again giddy. He’d seen his bare body once before, but this time it lacked the shine of sprinkles across his shoulders.

Bill climbed up the stairs to the second floor to meet the man. “Hey Bill. Thanks again for coming.”

“No problem. I’m happy to help.”

Dipper opened the door to a relatively clean home. It was warm inside with the heater running off to the side. A large white couch in the center of the room faced a small television between two large speakers of his stereo. A small kitchen was barely visible over its breakfast bar. The walls and mantle were filled with an array of photos, leaving nearly no room for anything else. Piles of unfolded boxes were set off to the side. Surprisingly, there wasn’t as much glitter as he thought there’d be. Sure there were plentiful glimmers here and there, but certainly not as much as the writer’s home. He never bothered to clean it up, but it looked like Dipper was cleaning it every day.

Bill rolled up his sleeves. “So where do you want me to start?”

“Hmm, I’d like to keep the kitchen last. Let’s start with the living room then,” he said with a clap as he began folding up one of the boxes.

“Think you’re gonna need more than one box for just the photos,” Bill chuckled as the dancer laughed along. He looked closer at a few of the photos. Most of them contained the same two people in a range of ages. What he guessed to be Dipper, and another girl. “Who’s this?”

“Probably my sister,” Dipper chuckled as he headed over, looking over his shoulder, “yup, definitely my sister.”

“Hmm, I can see the resemblance.” Bill smiled as he lined each of the different photos, most of them containing him and the girl with a sweater much like the ones Dipper wears.

“Well, you should. We’re twins after all.” Dipper chuckled as he unhooked a photo from off the wall, gently gliding his finger over his sister’s face.

They spent nearly an hour picking down the photos and nearly three hours folding in all the sweaters he hoarded into about 5 large boxes. Bill literally fell down laughing with the amount he had in his closet. Dipper tried defending that it was his sister’s fault for making so many, but he ended up admitting that he worn all of them more than once, even the more embarrassing ones (AKA a lammy-lammy sweater she made as a joke).

They took a break after another hour of cleaning out the bedroom. Bill was about to exit the room when he noticed a small glass box that hid behind another photo of Dipper and his sister on his nightstand. The photo looked more recent than the rest of them. His smile was bright, like the one he usually bore, and so was the girl’s. She hugged over his shoulder from behind as he gently held at the arm over him. His finger bore the same pine tree tattoo over his ring finger. And on the girl, there was a cartoonish shooting star tattoo over her collarbone like the one he’d seen on a couple of his sweaters. Both their eyes shone like galaxies. “Hey Bill, I’ve got some hot chocolate. Want some?” a voice shouted from the kitchen.

“…Ya sure.” He tore his gaze away from the photo to enter into the kitchen. Dipper smiled as he handed him a mug of warm chocolate. Bill’s gaze phased onto the ring on his left ring finger once his hand came into view as he grabbed the cup. He’d sipped at his cup for a while before he could muster enough courage. He was reluctant to ask about it, but his curiosity overwhelmed him. “What’s with the ring? You married or something?” he tried joking, but he managed to hide the hiss in his voice.

“Oh this?...” Dipper set down the cup to fiddle with his ring, shadow cast over his face. “It’s, uh, Mabel’s…it’s my sister’s…” he said with a crooked smile over his lips as he spun the ring around his finger. Bill hadn’t noticed this before, but as the dancer fiddled with the ring, he saw a similar tattoo of a shooting star on his ring finger under the ring. “My sister…she died about 3 years ago.”

Bill’s smile fell as he saw the look on his face. His smile lowered to a thin line as his downcast eyes lined his ring as he continued twisting it. But his eyes shone like stars. “…I’m sorry-”

Dipper blinked his melancholy away with a suck of a breath as he interrupted Bill’s condolences “There’s no need to apologize. It’s not like you knew her after all.” There were small sparks of distaste in his voice, but he pushed it off as he moved the subject away to talk about the book again. He mentioned that every time he read a word out of it, he couldn’t take the idea of the cliffhanger out of his head and that it was racking at his brain what it could possibly be.

Bill laughed along with Dipper, but kept a note to himself at the heavy subject of his sister. He’d been mentioning her this whole time, not even realizing how the dancer felt every time Bill brought her up. It must’ve been a painful topic to keep being mentioned by a stranger like himself.

Their chat was suddenly interrupted with a sudden call from Dipper’s cell. The dancer raised a brow with a chuckle before he answered. “Well look who the cat dragged in,” he booed in a mocking tone as he rolled his eyes.

Bill heard soft whispered of a voice on the other side of the phone before Dipper interrupted them, “No, Wendy Corduroy, I do not need your help anymore, you bastard.” He continued his sarcastic tone with a chuckle now in his voice.

Bill smiled at the sight of him smiling as he took a sip of his drink, but he put down the mug again with a scoff. “Ya, just go to your goddamn party or whatever. I’ve got someone I actually like helping me.” The dancer laughed as he glanced back to the writer with a smile in his eyes. Bill’s smile twitched as he felt his heart crush at the sight of the dancer’s starry eyes. Though he held a joking tone, the writer couldn’t help but notice his heart skipping multiple beats at the other’s words.

“Hmm, ya, don’t even think about taking my pie anymore. I’m taking away your pie privileges from now on. Good bye, Wendy.” He chuckled as he abruptly clicked his phone off before turning back to the writer. “So it seems I’ve got an extra slice of Maple-Cinnamon Pumpkin Pie tonight. You up for some after dinner?”

“Dinner?” Bill was more than surprised.

“Well, ya dinner. I’m not gonna let you starve here after you helped me so much,” he chuckled, “but I’m just gonna heat up some leftovers from last night, if you don’t mind.”

“Uh, ya, no, I-I don’t mind.” Bill returned his smile with a small, giddy laugh hidden in his throat.

The dancer’s starry eyes closed as he chuckle, making Bill’s heart once again flustered. The thought of eating a meal with him made the author eager as they continued packing. Though he didn’t bring it up, the dancer continued to talk about his sister when he held something with curiosity. His face never held the sorrow in his eyes like they previously did, but instead spread with joy whenever he talked about his sister. It seemed he really loved her. And she seemed to be quite a character.

He’d joked about the literal ton of glitter packed in several boxes and his sister’s very problematic glitter addiction. He’d gotten used to it for years, but can’t help cringing at the sight of glitter in every tight space. If this place wasn’t going to be abolished, he would’ve felt apologetic for the next resident who would’ve lived there. As they cleaned, he even mentioned about their inside joke of the constant pine tree and shooting star pair Bill saw nearly everywhere. Back when they were little, his sister would make crafts and when she was just starting to get into sweater-making, she asked what Dipper wanted on his. As a boy with little creativity, he’d just spurted out ‘pine tree’ because of his last name and Mabel wouldn’t let go of his lack of imagination, saying something like ‘you could’ve choose something like a shooting star.’ Dipper pouted a reply with ‘no way! I’m not wearing something as girly as that!’ And they kept this pair as a long running joke even till now. And he’d come to love it. Each time he saw one of her famous shooting stars, he’d smile once more at the memory of his loving sister.

With the exception of the sweaters, pictures, and mass hoards of glitter and make up, there wasn’t much else in Dipper’s possession to pack. Most of the stuff looked like it belonged to his sister with little things that resembled his own personal possessions, but the boy assured that the two always shared their belongings so he’d often just wear what his sister had. Once they finished packing, leaving the furniture for the movers to carry tomorrow, the dancer turned up his stereo to some familiar music as he began turning on his stove to heat up the minced lamb leftovers from last night over a light flame. Bill sat over at the breakfast bar as he watched the dancer hum to the song as he nodded along to the beat, stirring the meat with a spatula. He popped the mashed potatoes in the microwave and boiled up the remaining gravy he had left in his fridge.

Bill rested his head on his hand with his elbow on the table as he watched the dancer’s back begin to quietly sway along with the beat. They were very small hints of movement, but he could see sparks of his usual dances at the club in the swaying hips. A smile crawled on his lips watching him twist in soft motions rather than the hard ones he usually saw. He was watching the dancer dance casually in comfort rather than for the sake of his work, and that sent him into a light-headed fantasy. If he was his, this was how it would be. If he was his.

The dancer turned back to the writer with a sudden twist as he handed him a plate of a ready, hot food. “Thanks.” Bill smiled as he took the plate, instantly digging into the dish. It tasted even better than it looked. “This is delicious!” he hummed.

The dancer rested on his elbow as he watched the writer devour in with pleasure in his small hums and moans. “That’s good to hear. I’d spent so much time perfecting all my recipes with my sister, so I’m glad to know that my hard work’s paid off,” he chuckled before starting to dig into his own plate.

After dinner came the pie, and it was more delicious than the meal was. Who knew what demon he made a deal with to get these cooking skills, but certainly it would’ve cost more than just his soul. Dipper laughed at his joke, but thanked him anyway. They’d joked for the rest of their time together, finally cleaning up the remainder of the kitchen. It felt nice being with Dipper like this. It felt natural. It felt like he belonged with him. He’d never felt this way since his last relationship. But Dipper seemed special, like this love was actually real.

“Well, thanks Bill, for helping out.”

“I told you, it’s no problem. I should be thanking you for the extra pie. It’s like taking a piece of heaven with me.”

“Aww, thanks Bill. I’m really glad you like it.”

“Do you need any help tomorrow loading everything into the truck?”

“No, it’s fine. I already hired the movers to come by, so I should be ok. Thanks anyway for the offer.”

“Well, you could call me any time if you ever need my help again.”

“Alright. Night, Bill. Sorry for keeping you out so late.”

“No problem, Pine Tree. See ya later.”

Bill headed back to his car in a daze with the thought of Dipper’s warm smile, sweet laugh, and bright presence around him the whole day. He was more than happy to spend the day with him. And that night when he slept, he saw Dipper in his dreams. The sight of Dipper bare and in his arms. It wasn’t the sensual Dipper from the club with the shimmer of glitter and towering dominance over him, no. It was the causal Dipper, natural and sweet. He glowed not with a sparkle, but with a warm radiance, so heavenly under him. His half lidded eyes nearly closing as his mouth gaped open with a gasp. His fair arms wrapped tightly, but not restraining, around him as he tussled his fingers through the light of his blond hair. The sound of his voice each time he moaned a sweet, spellbinding sigh of pleasure shot a bullet straight through Bill’s heart. He could almost feel the softness of his skin tenderly against his fingers. He lowered himself to kiss the mouth begging for his lips, but before he could he woke up to the bright sun burning in his weary eyes. Damn. Always waking up when things were just getting good. But then again, dreams weren’t enough for him. He needed him. He wanted Dipper to be his. Bill sighed as he slid his hand through his hair. Another morning, another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Avalonmicky for helping me edit this chapter <3


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as Bill left, Dipper sat back down at his bedside. This is going to be the last time he’s going to see of this place. The place where he and his sister lived. The place where they spent so many great times together. But now it was going to be destroyed. He tried spending as much time as he could here until his landlord was practically kicking him out of this place. This will be the last night. He stared at the small glass box at his nightstand with only the light of the moon to illuminate it. He sighed. He crawled himself into the wide open bed. Even with all the sheets and pillows, it was way too big and way too cold for him. And finally, he fell asleep in another lonely night.

That night, like all other nights, he once again dreamed of only his sister.

He was suddenly awoken by a hand slapping onto his face. It was still dark out and he could barely see a small blur of a crescent moon through from out his window. He groggily blinked as he eyed the back of the hand bedded on his cheek with his hazy vision. He groggily wiggled his face to try and move the hand away from his face. But when it wouldn’t release from its comforting place on his cheek, he – instead of sighing with annoyance – smiled with a soft hum. He gently took the hand and kissed tenderly across each finger. He smiled at the mass of brunette curls messed in front of him. The sight of the most beautiful being he’d ever laid eyes on, naked on his bed, glowed heavenly under the light of the moon. There wasn’t a better sight in the world. He wrapped the arm that smacked him down under to his neck as he scooted in closer, pulling the bare stomach closer into him. The girl woke with a groan at the sudden touch, but moved herself in closer anyway.

“What’s wrong Dipper?” she asked as her eyes blinked wearily.

“Hmm. Nothing. Just a bit cold” he hummed with a sigh, tightening his grip around her.

She let out a weak chuckle before twisting herself to cuddle her arms over her brother in a warm hug. He smiled at her movements. Their bare bodies warmed each other in a heat like no other. So warm of an embrace that it could even melt the heart of gods. Dipper felt through the soft skin against his fingers, the touch softer than clouds. Her skin felt perfect against his. As if it was meant for his touch. Like they fit more perfectly together than any puzzle piece in the universe. The smell of sweet maple syrup filled his lungs as he sniffed in the smell of her chest. A smell he could never get over. Skin soft like cotton combined with such an irresistible sugary smell was like heaven on earth. His lips kissed tenderly between her breasts before the arms gripped around him tighter. The warmth growing ever so warmer around him. “Go to sleep Dipper” she sighed sweetly.

He chuckled against her skin before mouthing a whisper against it. “I love you, Mabel.”

Though he didn’t look over to her, he could hear the smile through her soft voice. “I love you too.”

His eyes slipped back close to a slumber before they opened up once again.

He’d woken up to find the warmth around him gone. The soft touch across his arms turned to air and the loving grip around him left to nothing. He could barely hold back a sob from crawling up from his choking throat. He turned himself away from the sight he couldn’t bear to take in much longer, away from the empty nothingness he wanted his everything to be in. He gripped tighter at the ring wrapped in a fitted embrace around his finger as he kissed his lips tenderly over it. He was going to ask her to marry him. Sure, it was hopeless, wishful thinking for siblings to be able to marry, but her sister always said it was the thought that counts. He was going to purpose to her. Give this ring to her. To the love of his life. To his soul mate. But now, he was more than a little too late for that. Eyes watered back at the thought, but he held back the tears from falling once again. He had to. He couldn’t let her see him crying for her once again.

Morning came faster than he could think and the movers came to help carry his stuff out of his apartment to the truck. This was going to be the last time he’d be seeing this place. The place he’d spent so many great times with his sister. And with his love. But now it was going to disappear forever.

He sucked in a breath as he loaded the last box into the truck. Mabel wouldn’t want him to keep getting caught up in small things like this. There were so many other good memories he needed to make.

He sighed. Memories he needed to make without her. The thought clenched at his heart, but he shouldn’t let these thoughts keep him down. All he needed to do was move forward.

The truck stopped at the apartment that stood just a block away from the club. It’s going to be so much easier to go to his work now, but he’s going to have to drive a lot further to get to his college. There was no helping it though. All the apartments near his college were filled to the brim with students and the other places were just too expensive for him juggling between finances for that and school. The place seemed familiar for some reason, but it was probably because he’d passed by it so many times as he drove to work.

He lifted a few boxed with a grunt, cursing to himself at the bottom of the flight of stairs. He’d have to climb up four flights of stairs with all these heavy boxes? Oh boy. Can’t wait. And of course a cheap apartment like this would have no elevators. It’s a good thing he hired movers. He wouldn’t have been able to handle this much work. He climbed up to the third floor, setting down the boxes with a huff. God, just one more flight of stairs…then it was back down for a billion more boxes of goddamn sweaters. Fuck…

He sucked in a puff and lifted up the box before he caught the sight of a familiar face. “Bill? What’re you doing here??”

“I live here. What’re you doing here?” A man with a messed bed of dirty blond hair closed in closer, wearing a similarly messily dressed white collared shirt stuffed hastily in what looked to be a random pair of slacks as it seemed it have some mysterious stain on the hems of his ankle. Dark circle were visible under his eyes, but he didn’t look much different the day before.

Dipper set back down the boxes. “Whoa. Seriously?! I didn’t know that! What a coincidence. I’m moving in the room on the floor above this one.”

Bill gave a sour look before taking a glance at the boxes. “…You, uh, need any help?”

Dipper chuckled. “Ya sure. Thanks. And I was just about to call you too.”

Bill’s thin line lips cracked to a small smile, though his brows were still a bit furrowed. “Always happy to help.” He picked up half the boxes as Dipper carried the rest. They ascended their way up the stairs to his new home.

“It’s gonna be so much better here now that I know you’re living here too. I really have a great time with you. I always have a fun time talking about the book with you since none of my other friends read it.” He grinned as Bill returned it with a warmer smile. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

“As am I…” he mustered a soft chuckle as they entered through the opened door of his new home. It was large and bare, unlike his last place, but soon enough it’s going to be filled with all his favorite things. He smiled at the thought of what he planned for this place. His mind filled with so many creative ideas of what he could possibly do with this place. So many that he didn’t even know how to deal with. Because that was what Mabel would be thinking if she was in his place.

Bill and Dipper happily descended and ascended the flight of stairs more times that they could even count as they hoarded up boxes upon boxes of the mass ton of glitter and sweaters. They were much slower than the movers, since they had already moved in all the heavy furniture before they started on the light boxes. They didn’t know how they could possibly carry up so much weight up 4 flights of stairs with such ease without even a break. Even after an hour of moving, the two had to just take a lemonade break before starting again.

After three hours of moving, the room was finally filled with boxes which he’d have to them unpack again. The thought made Dipper groan and flop onto the couch in exhaust. Bill followed suit in his example and landed himself right next to him.

“I’m definitely gonna treat you to some dinner tonight.” Dipper laughed wearily as his eyes wavered heavier.

“I’d like that.” That was the last he’d heard of the man before he shut his eyes for a light nap.

Again he’d dreamed of his love.

They were little. Dipper was crying in the children’s playground, behind a tree away from everyone’s view. He tried hiding further when he heard his sister call out to him. He didn’t want her to see him so pitifully like this, but she always ends up finding him one way or another. Like she knew exactly where he was, always. Like they were connected.

“Dippity-Dop! So this is where you were!” He whimpered at the sound of her spirited voice behind him, trying to hold back his cries. “Dipper!! What’s wrong!” She moved to look at him. His face was wet with tears and bruised with pain. “Dipper!!” she shocked at the sight of his face, “Was it those bullies again?! Were they making fun of you again?! I’m gonna make them pay for this!” Mabel shouted as she rolled up her sleeves, stomping down to the playground, but Dipper stopped her, grabbing at her dress.

“No. Mabel.” He said between sobs. “They’ll just make fun of me even more if you beat them up. They’ll call me a coward again…but they’re right…I am…”

“No Dipper! You’re wrong!” Mabel straightened herself before hugging onto her brother, “You’re strong Dipper. You’ve put up with them with so long. And I know you can stand up to them Dipper… You just gotta stand up on your two feet.” He smile radiated between his blurry, tear-filled vision, but he smiled along with her.

He sniffed. “…to a new tomorrow…” he said as he shakily stood up to his feet.

She giggled along as she followed up, holding his hand. “That’s right. To a new tomorrow!” She guided them out from behind the trees towards the group of the dreaded 3rd graders.

“Mabel…” he squeaked softly as he felt fear start to consume him again.

“What is it?” Her smile was like his beam of hope. His beacon of light.  

He felt strength in the smile he returned to her. “I love you.”

She giggled. “I love you too.” And they rushed towards the group like crusaders ready for a war they knew they were going to win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well. i ended up posting this much later than i expected...


	6. Chapter 6

Bill watched the boy sleeping so peacefully on the couch. He didn’t want to wake up the boy, so he kept still on the couch with him, but he didn’t mind. He’d rather like watching his sleeping face. So peaceful. So innocent.

His eyes wearily blinked to a sleepy wake as he muttered under his breath, “…to a new tomorrow…” tears began forming in the lashes of his eyes before he moved himself to sit up. He looked down to his hands as he brought them in closer, intertwining them together as he kissed upon the two of his ring fingers.

“…Dipper…” Bill called out softly with wide eyes at the sight. This was the most sorrow he’d seen on the face of such a happy-go-luck boy. The tears looked like they could fall at any moment, but refused to exit his eyes.

At his call, the boy flinched, quickly wiping away the tears stuck at his eyes. “B-Bill! Oh, sorry. You were still here? I thought you left. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you like that.”

“…Dipper, are you ok?” Tears that refused to fall for his sister. He probably misses her. And Bill has no idea what he could possibly do to help.

But the boy shook away his previous melancholy with a smile as he threw away the subject. “I’m fine Bill. Anyway, it looks like I should get ready for dinner. I’m going to the grocery store to grab some food then.” He said as he raised the couch, leaving Bill in concern, but he continued, “You wanna come with me?” he looked back to the writer; stars again filled his eyes as it always had as he smiled to him. But for some reason, he couldn’t see these stars the same. They held a hint of blue in their bright twinkle.

“y…ya sure.” He got up from his seat and followed the boy down the stairs. He didn’t want to leave him alone after what he saw. He wanted to just wrap him around in his arms, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want the boy to lose his smile again. In his selfishness, he didn’t want to see him frown despite how he knew what he’s actually feeling right now.

The boy chatted and joked with the writer as he always had, like he hadn’t just witness his tears, but the writer didn’t want to bring it up. He had a large suspicion on what the boy was actually thinking, but he didn’t want to ruin their chat. He didn’t want to bring up something the boy didn’t want to talk about.

They returned back to his apartment as soon as they finished shopping and the boy went right away to cooking. He mixed through boxes, trying to find his utensils as Bill helped. He’d opened one of the boxes and found a familiar glass box sitting atop a bed of sweater. Bill lifted it up in inspection. It was small, and through the clear blue tint of glass he saw a small red pillow fitted at the bottom of it. If Bill didn’t know any better, it looked a lot like a ring box.

“Whoa. Wouldn’t want to break that.” Dipper swiped the box away from his hands in a swift movement with a joking tone as he stuffed the box into his pocket, but Bill could tell that he didn’t want him touching that.  Bill frowned at the thought until Dipper beckoned him over to grab him a pan.

Bill helped along the best he could, despite the boy’s hospitality to not let guests work, but Bill was very insistent. With a sigh and a chuckle, the boy let him mince the ingredients for him.

They shared a meal similar to their previous, filled with laughs and praises. Once they finished, Bill headed back to his apartment as he told Dipper that he lived directly under him so he could come visit him any time he wanted.

Bill returned to his home and turned on his computer. He needed to work on his chapter again, but the file at the corner of his desktop beckoned to be clicked upon. He resisted the best he could, but the ideas that filled his mind bested him and he clicked back onto the file ‘Everything in the Eyes.’

He was a mystery/horror author, but ever since the boy entered his life, he’d started a private story to get the thoughts of the boy out of him. A mystery/horror author was writing a romance series. What a joke. But each word of the 57 pages in his document was filled with so much love, so much passion, that he’d end up writing another 10 pages. He filled each page with descriptions of the boy, of every little movement he’d made, and of every sweet word he’d said that day. It described both the devil in the club and the angel of his new neighbor. Once he’d written every thought racking at him, he went back to read and reread his words placing slight changes in a few of his grammar errors and fixing small descriptors to fit the dancer better. His own words were starting to send him back to a trance. The thought of the boy through his own words burned into his heart as he remembered every detail he’d encountered with him. He couldn’t get back into the mood for his other novel any more.

The past few days, the boy called Bill up to help him clean up a bit as they talked more about trivial things whenever Dipper wasn’t busy with school or work. And each time he was called over, he treated him to another meal or homemade dessert which Bill was more than happy to receive. All his meals tasted so sweet, he felt like he would get a sweet tooth from all his delicious meals.

Each day he’d find more and more about the dancer, his interests, and his personality. He found that the dancer really loved making sweets and often made too much that he didn’t even know how to deal with. He’d usually give most of them away to his friends and sometimes even strangers if none of his friends could take any more of his bullshit. He found that the dancer had a deep love for mystery and horror novels and shows, which Bill shared in interest. He found that the boy was taking an English major in college and aspire to be a writer, though he refused to show Bill any of his works with embarrassment. He did mention it held a lot of crazy weird creature ideas, which Bill found much interest in though his naming sense was a bit peculiar. He found his taste in music ranged from trap music to hip-hop to classical from the IPod he often played behind them. He could hear, from time to time, frantic steps above his ceiling as music played in the background, suspecting that the boy was practicing his dances for his work in his room. He’d peek through his door as he saw the dancer climb down the stairs in different sets of attires, signaling where he planned to go next. If he wore a tank top and yoga pants with a duffle bag and no hat, he was headed out to work. If he wore his usual hat and sweater pair with his headphones, he was either going to school or out shopping. If he was wearing his usual hat with his sleepwear and a drowsy face, he was going to the coffee shop down the street to grab a quick cup o’ Joe before heading back to his room again. He’d stopped him a couple times before he headed out to talk to him, and he noticed that whenever he went to work, he didn’t wear the ring over his finger and the shooting star tattoo would usually be covered by what he suspected to be concealer.

He found that, other than the frequent talks of horror and mystery, he loved talking about his sister. He found out just as much about his sister as he did him. How his sister was always eccentric and energetic. He learned that she was a miracle-worker in how she made friends so easily and that if she had the will to, she could’ve made friends with the entire world if she wanted to. He learned that before she died, she was in an Art major planning to become a fashion designer to build her line of sweater collections to sell to the world, and honestly Bill believed she could’ve done it with all the sweaters he’d seen. He’d seen a couple of paintings she made and felt that she definitely had the talent to do so. He’d learned that they once had a pig named “Waddles” and noted that his sister was where he got his weird naming sense, but then again he should’ve guessed it from all the variations of nicknames plastered on their assortment of sweaters. He learned that every Halloween that had a tradition to wear a matching pair of costumes, which they continued the ritual each year up until her death. He heard that she’d often addressed herself as the “Alpha twin” whenever they mentioned of their relation. He’d even brought up a situation about once when he was little they made fake IDs (of cardstock, macaroni, and stickers – don’t judge) to try and sneak into a club, which by the way did not end well.

He loved learning more and more about the boy and he didn’t even mind how much he talked about his sister to him.

One morning, Bill was called up again by Dipper, but this time as Bill knocked on his door, the door slammed open as fists curled into his collar shirt, shaking him.

“Goddammit Bill! What the fucking seven hells was that?! You call that a fucking ending?! How the hell is he supposed to write the next journal if he’s fucking dead?!!” The dancer shouted curses to the writer as he shook him silly. Bill, shocked by the sudden turn of events, snorted as soon as he took it all in.

“I told you it was a cliffhanger, didn’t I?” he laughed as the dancer gripped tighter, shaking him even harder.

“Cliffhanger?! This is a goddam disaster!! How the hell am I supposed to wait another year for the next book if it’s gonna leave me hanging like this?! How am I supposed to deal with this Bill?!” Bill laughed at his distress as he saw the dancer begin chuckling along with him, but still holding a tight grip against him. “Get in here, asshole.” He chuckled, pulling the writer into his home.

The dancer offered him a plate of crepe, which the writer was more than happy to take as they began talking about the ludicrous ending. Bill wanted so badly to spoil it to him about the start of the next book and what he planned on adding to the story, but he couldn’t possibly with all the animated theories the dancer spouted. He didn’t want to stop the dancer from sending him all these ideas and what he should probably put into the story to shock the dancer by either adding what he wants or going completely against it to surprise him. He laughed along as he listened to the dancer’s soothing voice until a buzz of a text came shortly before a ring of a door bell. The dancer mentioned that his friend had was coming over for a quick second to drop something off really quick before heading out again.

He opened the door and saw a red set of hair standing in front of the door. “Hey Dipper.”

“Hey Wendy. What’s up? This ‘something’ you talked about better be good cuz I’m still mad at you for the other week. This better bring you redemption.” The dancer chuckled at the girl.

“Don’t worry dude. You’ll love it. Here.” The redhead handed a box out to him.

He opened it up and shocked his eyes at the sight. He pulled out a gun with a hook attached to the end of it. “No. Way. Is this Grunkle Ford’s grappling hook?! I thought we lost it at the trench after Mabel dropped it!”

“Naw, I managed to nab it back before it fell. I totally forgot about it until I found it again in my attic.” She said with a snicker.

“You are a badass Wendy. I love you!” he jumped to a hug, latching onto her. Bill’s smile slightly twitched at the words, but the boy seemed pretty happy, plus it’s not like they were going out or anything. “I’m giving you back your pie privileges. You totally deserve it.” He squealed as he giddily set the box onto his coffee table before heading to his fridge. He took out a box labeled ‘Wendy’ which he mentioned that he already planned to give back her ‘pie privileges’ considering how often he baked, but this made it so much better.

“Yes!” The redhead pumped her fists as she grabbed the box, opening it to the sweet smell of pumpkin pie. “Aw thanks dude! It smells so fucking good!” she said, straining out each word with excitement.

“Ya, of course it does. It’s a Pines Twin’s secret recipe after all.” He said as they chuckled. Her sight finally caught onto Bill.

“Oh, crap. You had a visitor? Sorry man, I should probably get out of your hair then.”

“Don’t worry about it Wendy.”

“Naw, I’m already late for work anyway. So I better get going. See ya later kid.” She said with a wave as she began walking down the hall to descend down the stairs.

“Alright. Bye.” He closed the door and turned back to the writer with a chuckle.

He walked back to the coffee table to pick up the gun once more. Without Bill even asking, the boy began excitedly explaining its existence. How they’d nearly died multiple times in a place called Gravity Falls if it weren’t for this grappling hook. How this was one of Mabel’s favorite weapons whenever they went adventuring in their great uncle’s place. After explaining the stories of the hook, he began discussing more about other adventures they’d had together.

Bill took interest in the many exploits they’ve been through, though he’d guessed most of them were exaggerated, but it still gave him so many other ideas to add to his stories. He was even thinking about making another series based on all the stories he’d told. He’d hoped that Dipper would someday write about them himself to sell to the world.

But his stories were abruptly stopped when he noticed the time. He was going to be late for his next class. With a rush, he’d exited his room as Bill returned back to his home. Bill instantly headed back to his computer to write more of his private series, while starting a new one for the adventures of Dipper Pines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, i have to admit this wasn't actually a good chapter. But the next chapter gets better (or angst, i should say).  
> I actually finished this a while ago, but my interest in this fic went downhill so fast that i'd just ignored this for the most of December. Once i get an idea for another fic, i just end up dropping ones i'm writing and lose interest in it fast. That's pretty much the reason i never post any of my fics because i know im never going to finish it. But i finished this one, i swear. Next chapter will come soon. Maybe tomorrow if i have time.


	7. Chapter 7

It was a week till Christmas and Bill still couldn’t get another word out of his story again. He was so close to the ending of the next chapter and the deadline was closing in faster than he can think. He wanted to head to Dipper’s to talk more about his ideas, but Dipper was supposed to be in class right now. He’d remembered hearing the familiar rush of footsteps down the stairs after he’d memorized the boy’s schedule. He should be having math right now, if he wasn’t mistaken.

Bill sighed. Should be go to the bookstore again to check up on his sales? No, it should already be off its display after the month. Maybe he’ll just get a coffee or something.

He took his wallet and keys and headed out the door. He walked down the street and saw the familiar view of the club catch his sight. He hadn’t been there in a while. Maybe he’d find some kind of inspiration there.

Bill entered in and was greeted by the sight of a familiar blond hair. Venus. But she was talking to someone.

“Oh, hey there. I haven’t seen you here in a while!” Venus perked as he entered her view. The man talking to her turned back to see who she was talking to.

“B-Bill?!” It was Dipper. The two shot their eyes open at the sudden sight of each other. “W-Why are you here?! What are you doing here?!” Bill had no idea how to answer that.

Venus chuckled as she raised an eyebrow. “What’re you talking about Dipper? He’s a regular here. I’m pretty sure you’d had him as a visitor once before.”

“What?” his voice was quiet, but squeaked high with a shiver. Dipper’s view shot back to Venus before returning to Bill’s as his glittery face turned bright red. “W-…M-Mr. Wide-eyes?” he squeaked in a soft unbelievable voice.

“D…Dipper. I-” Bill didn’t know what to do. He tried reaching for him, but the dancer flinched away. His face turned brighter before he started to tremble. Venus’s smile long since fell. Bill tried calling out again, but the boy had already run out and away back to the dressing room. “Dipper! Wait!” The writer tried running after, but was stopped by the blond dancer who suddenly gripped his attention onto her with his collar.

“Bill. Did you fucking sleep with him?!” she hissed as she shook at his neck.

“I- uh, y-ya, It was just one time-” Bill stuttered through his words as he tried glancing back to the brunette only to be shaken his attention back to the blond.

“You FUCK-” Venus began a shout, but abruptly stopped when she noticed the eyes on her. “Get out here.” She hissed with a whisper as she dragged Bill out the door to the back alley before shouting once again, “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU BILL?!”

“I-I didn’t-” he tried making an excuse but was again shaken to a stop by the blond.

She gripped her hands tighter around his collar with painstaking eyes as she eyed at the miserable face in front of her. “Do you know what the hell you just did?!” she bit through her words.

“Wha- I don’t- I don’t understand.”

She finally let go of her tight grip to place her fingers over her temples in stress. “A few weeks ago… was the anniversary of his sister’s death…” Bill gaped his eyes open from her words. “This is the time of year he usually starts sleeping around from distress of his loss.” She sighed.

After a long silence, the blond began her words again. “…His sister, Mabel, she was a dancer here. The two had been dancing here for more than 5 years already, but she died about 3 years ago.”

The two had been working here since they were 18, despite the age rule of 21 and up. At first, it was just Mabel dancing, but her brother soon got worried for her well-being, but she refused to quit so she suggested he joined as well. He didn’t want her quitting, knowing her love for dancing, so he went along with her. Once Dipper’s dancing got better with Mabel’s help, they soon became the main act of the shows as the ‘Little Twin Stars.’ As the pair of male and female act who looked so similar, they took the breaths of all the audiences every time they performed. All their performances were hot and sensual, and their sparkling glitter and spirited dances set the stage into the stars that caught the audience with more than just a breath. None of the dancers could even be jealous of their popularity with Mabel being such a sweetheart. Dipper was usually quiet or embarrassed, but when he was with Mabel, he seemed like a different person. So happy.

He was sent to despair when she died. For the past few weeks before her death, she had a creepy stalker following her. Venus didn’t remember what he looked like, but she felt like she could remember white hair. After a while, Dipper had enough of his shit and confronted him. They got in an argument quicker than a flash and the man pulled out a knife. And they got in a fight. He’d manage to cut Dipper a couple times, but the man soon shifted his target away from him onto Mabel. He wrapped his arms around her with the knife pointed at her as a hostage, but she bit him and ran out the door as the man chased after. Dipper managed to kick him down before he could get away, but when he ran out to catch up to his sister, she was… dead. On the road. It was a hit and run. The ambulance couldn’t make it in time to help her. She died in his arms.

They arrested the man, but Dipper couldn’t even bring himself to blame him for what happened. He just blamed himself. For not being there in time. For confronting the man in the first place. For everything. The first month, no one could get a word out of him. The second month…well, he fell in distress. He fell into every arm that wrapped around him. This lasted for about another month until things got somewhat normal. He’d moved on from her and continued his life without her. He sounded pretty positive about it. Optimistic. Saying things like she’d want him to move on if she was him. He used to be so quiet without Mabel, but he started smiling more and more around the club. It was like Mabel was still with him in the club. Like she was still with us. But every time during this time of year, he’d start falling into the arms of others. Though not as often as the last, he did so every so often to keep his mind off Mabel. Once he’d sleep with someone, she could see his eyes slowly dying inside. Then, he’d never talk to them again. He’d slept with one of the dancers once, Carson, but after that night he’s never been able to meet eyes with her again. Even now, every time she tries to strike up a conversation with him, he’d just avoid her. From shame? From humiliation? Who knew? But Venus could tell he was hurting. He missed her every time he danced, which was why he only dances center stage at this time of year. In memory of Mabel Pines.

Bill didn’t know what to do with this information. Venus told him that it was probably best that he shouldn’t be near him or Dipper would end up feeling hurt in his heart again, but he wanted to talk to him again. He wanted to apologize. He returned home to wait for the return of the dancer. He’d waited for nearly hours as the sun set down to dark until he finally heard a familiar set of footstep climb up the stairs in a rush.

Bill quickly perked and rushed out the door to meet the dancer. He met with sharp lined eyes, glitter painted face, and a messy bed of hair. His eyes looked hazy before they shot open to the sight of him, and Bill did the same. The glitter was smeared across his face, random strands of hair stuck up in a chaos of ends, and small speckles of purple blotches peeked from under the thick pink sweater he wore. He looked like he was…He looked like he had just been sleeping with someone. “D-Dipper” Bill held back the hiss in his voice, but couldn’t stop the angered glare at the dancer. At the call, the boy shot up the stairs in incredible speed.

Bill quickly followed after, rushing the stair from behind, but the door slammed and locked too quickly for Bill to talk to him. He slammed his fists against the door, calling out to him, but the boy wouldn’t answer.

“Dipper! Please! Open up! I’m not gonna do anything to you! I just want to talk!!” He pleaded against the door, but he couldn’t hear the boy.

“Go away.” After a good 10 minutes of shouting, he heard a hiss of a sob against the door. The sad sound of the boy, Bill’s voice began to shake in worry as he pounded harder against the door and shouted louder to him. He’d kept it up for quite a while until the neighbor had had enough of his shouting and began complaining to him. He clenched his fist, knowing the boy wasn’t going to answer to him. He held no pride as he headed down the flight of stairs back to his room.

He flopped straight to bed as soon as he returned, not even bothering to turn on his computer to finish the chapter that was due in the next couple of days. He fell straight to sleep.

That night he dreamed of Dipper. Of the first night they met. Sensual Dipper over him in a hot hazy heat. Domineering Dipper rocking his hips against his in a strong familiar pace. Like the first time he met him, the glitter shone bright against his eyes in a sharp and heart clenching beam. With a smile on his face that shone like stars, his cherry lips puckered at the pleasure. His hands fiddled over his chest, soft yet forceful. It glided through his hair in the way Bill loved most. Each rock of the dancer sent Bill seeing stars again. The glitters falling from dancer with each thrust were like shooting stars tumbling from their skies. The eyes that tore into his were like galaxies. He loved the touch of the dancer. He loved the way he moved above him. But it didn’t feel right. It felt so wrong. He felt disgusted with the love he felt.

Bill woke up in sweat and heavy breath as he climbed up his bed to turn on his lamp. He looked to his lonesome bed. This time, it held no glitter or small dent the dancer had left. All he saw was an empty bed. Bill’s face fell into his hands with deep breaths. For the first time, he regretted that night. He regretted the love he felt as the dancer only felt pain above him. He felt guilt digging down deep into his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and in comes the angst <333
> 
> also, i regret naming the twins "little twin stars". i cant look at sanrio's little twin stars the same again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why have a not post for about 3 months now? Well, son, that's because i completely forgot about this fic and i am so very very very sorry... And i stopped right in the middle of the feels, i feel terrible about that...
> 
> This chapter is a bit short, but i posted up 2 chapters, so there's that.

Class was cancelled for the day so he only wanted to catch some extra hours in his work from the time he skipped to move. He never expected to meet him there. He never expected to find out he’d spent a night with him. As soon as he found out, he couldn’t help regretting. He can’t look into his face anymore without feeling disgrace run through him. He’d taken someone again to try and feel the love of his sister again. He just wanted her back by his side again. He didn’t want it to turn out this way. So he ran.

He ran from the man who was only nice to him. The man who was so friendly to him. But he couldn’t possibly look into his face anymore without seeing the shame in his actions. He knew they weren’t something Mabel would approve of. He should be doing this only to someone he truly loved. But how could he? When the only one he could ever love isn’t here anymore? He could only feel the fake satisfaction in loving another as his mind filled with Mabel. How she’d graze her hands so lovingly against his hips as he loved her. The touch of her soft hair as he glided his fingers through them. The sweet smell maple syrup against her skin. Her sweet chuckles between the beautiful sounds of moans. The light kisses of her lips against his. The special taste of Mabel that no one else could possibly hold.

He felt himself in Mabel as he lowered himself deeper into the man. He chuckled along with the cute laugh he heard in his head. He mirrored along with her heavenly smile. He felt across her chest as her fingers ghosted over his. He looked into the eyes that sparked like a cluster of stars. As if, in her eyes was where shooting stars found their place as they fell from their skies. It felt so homely for his eyes to stare back into. Like he was meant to stare into the world with her eyes.

But he was only shot back to reality when he shamefully woke up in an unfamiliar room after another night of meaningless sex with a person he didn’t know. He couldn’t even remember the face of his partner with his memory filled only with his love. He didn’t want to, but once he did remember, he could only feel his disgrace across their face. With Bill’s.

He’d met eyes with the man after he’d just returned from another goddamn shameful night with whatever her face was. The shock in his eyes as he looked back into wide eyes. He could feel the shame rising back to him so he ran away. Like the coward he was. Like always. All he could ever do was run away, but the man ran after.

He kept shouting at him, but all he could hear in his voice was his sister's. _Dipper, what are you doing? You have to move on. Please, Dipper. I love you, Dipper. It pains me too much to see you like this._

Her voice kept racking in his brain as the man kept shouting through the door. “Go away” he couldn’t hold back the sob in his voice. “…please…” but her voice kept echoing louder in his brain as the man pounded harder against the door. _Please. I love you too much to see you like this, Dipper. I can’t stand to see you so miserable. I want you to be happy. I love your smile the most. Just open up for him Dipper... I know…I know that you don’t want to leave me behind, but-…but at least try to find someone else, Dipper. Please… I only ever want to see you happy._

Her voice only stopped when the man stopped pounding against his door as he descended back to his room. Dipper couldn’t take the energy to clean himself up or even to crawl his way all the way to bed. He dropped to the couch in exhaust. And he dreamed of Mabel once again.

He was crying and so was she. He held her in her arms as more blood than he could even grip into his mind spilled out of her in pools.

“No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Mabel. No. Please no. This isn’t happening. Mabel.” Dipper repeated like a chant as he gripped her shoulder closer to him.

She tried to smile for him, but what only came out was a small twitch to her lip before coughing out spurts of blood.

“Mabel!!” Dipper sobbed, tears falling in pools equal part to Mabel’s, but through her tears she still managed to muster a smile.

“Smile Dipper.” She weakly chuckled with a frail voice. “I love it when you smile.” Her voice delicate, but still held its strong tone that Dipper always loved.

Through his tears he could only muster a small distorted smile, but Mabel still grinned after it before another fit of coughs. “Mabel!!” He once again shouted, clutching her in closer to his arms. “Mabel. Oh Mabel. I love you. I love you so much. Please be ok. I love you.” He repeated over and over with a weak voice.

She shakily reached her arm to nuzzle through his brown locks, pulling him down to her. “I love you too” she whispered before locking her lips to a familiar embrace. It held the taste of iron and tears, but the warmth never changed. “I will always love you.” Her voice weakened against his lips before her arm fell down limp as the rest of her body followed.

“Mabel?...Mabel?” He shook her as the tears fell down faster. She never responded. He could only shakily cry over her as he held her in tighter than he had before, rocking her in his arms.

Her warmth was fading, the twinkle in her eyes lost their shine, but still, he could never dig the memory out of his mind. Those beautiful, never ending glistens of stars.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did someone say cliche? Well, i hope this cliche shattered your heart to pieces <3


	9. Chapter 9

 

He woke up to a disgusting stickiness under his eyes as well as the rest of his body. He rubbed away the glitter filled tears before intertwining his fingers together again. He eyed over the two separate tattoos place over his ring fingers. A pine tree and a shooting star. His eyes fell back to the ring on his finger and he let out a sob as he kissed upon his fingers. He’d only calmed down his cries as he whispered sweet nothings against his fingers with heavy breath, but shook his head soon after to stray away from the thought.

He was supposed to move on. But how the hell was he supposed to when the thought of Mabel was the only thing keeping him going? The thoughts of what she would ever do if she was in his situation. What she would do. She wouldn’t be crying like this. She’d be taking a shower, to wash away all this glitter. So that’s what he did. He jumped into the shower, watching the bright stars run down the drain in pools. He’d turned on his stereo and began humming along in the shower, swaying his hips to the song to keep his mind away from any bad thoughts. He sang along, feeling the music wrap around his skin as the warm water washed away any imperfections. Or at least, attempted to. And it was only once. Only once throughout that 30 minute shower did he fall to his knees, clutching his arms together, shaking. And only twice did he stop his humming song to chop out a quick sob in his voice before wiping it away with his hand. That was to say, comparatively, it was certainly an improvement throughout his years without her… A painful improvement indeed.

Once he’d washed himself clean, he stepped out of the shower and wiped away the foggy glass to look himself in the mirror. Training himself for the day, he mustered out a wobbly, crooked smile. Today was certainly one of the best he’d seen himself in a while. His eyes looked dark and the bags under it were still red and puffy from tears, but it wasn’t much work that needed to be fixed. He sucked in a large breath of air before cracking out a large smile. He mirrored back the smile that he envisioned from the familiar features of his own face with that of his sister’s and prepared his act for the rest of today.

As soon as he dressed, he’d cleaned up the mess of glitter on the floor and couch. He hummed along to the song, pumping his body to the song as he vacuumed up the clusters of stars sprays throughout the floor. When he finally cleaned up the best he could, he danced himself to the kitchen to get a start on breakfast. He made himself some blueberry pancakes, a Pines Twins’ secret recipe, and adding in an extra kick of whip cream and maple syrup. The sweet taste filled his mouth with a smile. Delicious as always, Mabel.

Today was his day off from work, but he did have to get to a 10am class, so he quickly cleaned up and grabbed his backpack on his way out. He descended down the flight of stairs with a hum before he met eyes with a familiar blue. With a shock sent straight through him, he quickly dashed down the stairs, but was stopped by the hand that suddenly grabbed him.

“Dipper wait!” he heard the man talk, but all he could hear was her voice. The voice he never forgot, and the voice he could never forget as she called his name so sweetly. _Dipper._

He tried to stop the tremble that shot through him, but his body still shook with fear. Fear of remembering her like that again. So much in pain as he was in. Those clear, starry eyes mirroring his. Tears flowing. Sorrowful goodbyes he never wanted to hear, never wished to hear, never dreamed of hearing, never… Fear from that loss. “Let go.” He tried acting in a strong voice of confidence that Mabel taught him to speak, but what came out was a pathetic whimper.

Suddenly the strong grip against his wrist loosened enough for Dipper to rip it away as he dashed down the stairs. The man shouted at him, “Please wait! I just want to talk!” but all he could ever hear was her _…My darling Dipper. You’ve been so strong for me… but please….Dipper…_ It’s like he could almost hear her sobs. Or see her tear stained eyes. Or touch her warmth with his. But all he felt was his shivering arms as he clutched in himself tighter. His arms that were all for her. His breath that lived for her. His being was hers and hers alone, but what was he when she was no longer there with him? No, he desperately tried shaking away the thought. This is not what she’d want.

Dipper draped his headphones onto his head to drown out any ruthless feelings that racked in his brain. He hummed along, pretending to forget as he headed out for his classes. During days at work, Pacifica questioned about Bill, but Dipper just kept shoving it off at each mention.

Each day, for the past few days, the man had called out to him out in the halls and knocking against his door. And each time, Dipper ran away like always. Like the coward he’d always been. And each time he heard Mabel in his voice. Her laugh, her smile, her heavenly voice. _Dipper. Please, I want you to move on. No, I need you to. I need you to be happy. That’s all I ever want from you…Please… I need you to be happy again._

“… I am happy….I am…” he whispered to himself softly as he tried covering his ears from the intrusive, sweet voice. He loved her voice. He loved hearing it, but with the words she was saying, he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to forget her. He doesn’t want her telling him to forget her. He doesn’t want to move on. Moving on would mean she wouldn’t be the most important thing to him anymore, more important that his own life. He’s afraid of that most of all. He doesn’t want her to disappear from his life any more than she already has. He was afraid of losing her, and already having lost her, he didn’t want to remember losing her.

And once again, even on Christmas day, he heard her voice once again with a soft knock. “Merry Christmas, Dipper. Would you please open up for me?...” _Dipper, please open the door for him._ “…Dipper. I have a present for you…” _I want you to find your happiness, Dipper._ “…I love you, Dipper...” _I love you._

But his eyes racked open when he heard the voice of the man. “I love you…please… open up.” His voice, this time, never followed up by Mabel’s. “Please Dipper. Open up.” He could hear the desperation in his voice. “I want to talk to you again.” He could hear a loving in his voice he’d only heard in Mabel’s.

Slowly he’d lifted himself from the couch and headed to the door in small movements. “Dipper. Please.” And slowly he turned the knob to open up to the man. He couldn’t see the wide and frantic smile that laughed onto his lips from the sight of the boy since Dipper’s sight was downcast and glued to the ground. He couldn’t look into his eyes. He couldn’t look into the shame of lovelessness in his eyes. “Dipper.” He could hear the smile in his voice, but he couldn’t look up. “I’m so happy.” His laughter reminded him of the cheeriness like that of Mabel Pines. And he looked up.

What he saw back were glistening eyes as they sparked from the tears watering in his eyes. He wiped them away before they could fall, but the stars never left them. Stars that he’d seen only in the love of his life. His smile shone against the sight of Dipper. “I love you Dipper.” The words shook at his shoulders. A smile sweetly stretched across lips that he’d never seen on anyone other than his sister. Words he’d never heard spoken by anyone other than his girlfriend.

“Um…I…” Dipper couldn’t get out any words as he looked back into those blue eyes, finding no shame in them. A silence longer than he wanted rung between them, but the latter didn’t mind none. He just smiled, taking in the sight of Dipper.

“You don’t have to answer.” His voice smoothed down his ear like syrup. “Can you come with me?” he asked lifting a hand to the boy. Hesitantly, he looked back and forth between the starry eyes and the hands in front of him before he finally decided to grab it. The man’s smile widened as he guided him down the flight of stairs into his home.

Dipper remembered this mess. It really was the home he’d been in before. He even saw small piles of glitter hidden under the mess of the couch and splayed across the floor. He couldn’t help feeling the regret of that night, but the man paid no attention to the piles as he led the boy to one of his rooms. Inside was a computer along with a mass of papers spread all across the floor, tables, and walls. It looked like a room of a madman, but the man pushed him further to the computer.

“Here,” he gestured to the screen with a grin too big for his face.

“…what is it?” Dipper’s voice was soft as he leaned in closer to read whatever was written on it.

“Nightmare Realm. It the first chapters of the third book in The Journals series.”

“What?!” Dipper flinched at the words, slightly skimming through the first page. It truly was. That familiar style, and that strange, thought-provoking way he wrote each sentence. It really was written by the author. He couldn’t believe his eyes. “H-How did you even get this?!” he looked back to the man to see his grin widen impossibly to his reaction. Then it dawn onto him. Like it’d just slapped him hard across his face. The name of the Author. B.C. Pher. Bill Cipher. “…no…” How did he not notice this before?!

“Merry Christmas.” He chuckled.

“Y-you’re the author?!!” he shouted, barely holding back the shock and disbelief in his voice.

“Here,” the man held his hand out, handing him a small wrapped box. Dipper blushed as he hesitantly grabbed it.

“I’m…I’m sorry. I didn’t even get you anything.” Dipper squeaked shyly, failing to hold back the tint in his cheeks. He hadn’t even thought of getting him anything after ignoring him so deliberately and so fearfully. He felt shy and ashamed.

The author chuckled at his words, “there’s no need. I’m just happy you’re talking to me again.” Dipper’s cheeks darkened at his words. “Open it.” The man smiled.

Slowly, Dipper unraveled the wrappings and opened the small box. Inside was a key. Without even questioning, the man answered to the boy. “It’s the keys to my house. You can come by anytime you want to hang out or read if you want.” Dipper looked back up to Bill to see his eyes shining bright against the computer screen and small rays of sun that shone through the blinds.

“I…” Dipper stared at the man’s eyes with stars, and he saw truth in them. And purity. And adoration. And…And so many other things. Honestly, it shocked Dipper. It almost scared him with all his sincerity. But among them, he saw such open feelings he bore out to him. A feeling he’s never felt since… But the shine in the eyes so pure of intent, no guilt, no shame, no disgust, he felt so bare against his stare that didn’t even think to hide any of his emotions. His mouth twitched open before closing tight again. He reached into his pockets and took out his phone, gripping at the two keys that hung from it. A bright pink one covered with floral print and a plain one. He held the pink key tightly in his hand for a second before detaching the plain key and handing it to the author. “Here.” Dipper returned.

The author looked at it with surprise. “Y-You don’t have to! I just wanted to give you mine for my own personal reasons” he said as he tried turning down his gift.

“I want to, too.” Dipper slowed out with a smile as he once again handed it to him.

With wide eyes, the man looked at the sweet smile against his face. It was the first time he’d seen his smile in a while. The man gripped the key with disbelief as he stared at it for a while.

Dipper awkwardly rubbed his neck as he looked back to the computer screen, “I-I don’t know what I could give you in return from this. I don’t even know how I could match up to this” he chuckled. But, little did he know, he already did. Opening the door for him, talking to him again, smiling at him again. It was the best he could ever wish for. And the key was like a dream to him. He’d almost punched himself to question if this was actually real, but he didn’t want to take the chance of waking up from this. “Do you…want to come over for some breakfast?”

He stared back with wide eyes as he tried comprehending the situation. Before he knew it he was nodding his head vigorously to his question. The boy chuckled at his reaction.

The author hadn’t meant for it to happen, as he explained later on, but he’d ended up kissing him at the corner of his mouth out of impulse. The two startled at the sudden touch and Dipper’s face flushed bright red before he dashed straight out of the room in a whirl of flying papers. He’d run back up to his room and locked it.

The author followed up after with and apologetic voice as he knocked lightly against the door, despite already having the key to it in his hand. After a good solid second, Dipper hesitantly opened the door with a face too hot for his comfort. He slowly cracked the door open, peeking through the small crack of line as his eyes couldn’t connect with the author’s. He’d stared at the feet of the man, biting his cheek with embarrassment before scooting the door wider for the author to enter. He looked back up to see a warm smile on the blonde’s face as he took a step back into his home once more. He didn’t know why he didn’t feel the usual shame in his eyes like he did with the others, but he was really glad he didn’t. He quite liked those eyes, starry like the night sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cringe at this development.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boy, am i bad at updates

Bill couldn’t be happier that the dancer was allowing him back into his life again. He couldn’t believe that the boy was smiling towards him once more. And he couldn’t even fathom how the boy had given him free reign to enter his house whenever he wanted.

He explained to the boy that he’d accidentally kissed him out of impulse, but truthfully, he was glad he did it, though he was restraining himself greatly from grabbing the dancer into a passionate kiss. At first he was worried when he had run away again, but when the boy flustered, the way his eyes shone like bright pink stars, and the shy little actions he’d displayed to him made his heart rip out of his chest and beat into the palm of the boy. He’d told the kid that he hadn’t meant for it to happen, that it was an accident, so that he wouldn’t act so embarrassed around him. Sure, it was cute, but he wanted the boy to act natural with him again. To laugh and to smile like he always had.

This year, Bill wasn’t spending another Christmas in pain alone and regretting. This time he was going to end the year happy. And he did. They spent the morning feasting upon Dipper’s leftover peppermint scones he’d made the day before. He had the dancer all to himself Christmas morning. The boy talked with disbelief that he was actually talking to the author of The Journals. He said he’d embarrassingly told him so many of his theories he’d probably scared off the author, but Bill reassured him that he loved his ideas and that it inspired him to write more. Dipper was happy over his words. They talked more about the book as the writer tried his best not to spoil any surprises he planned for the dancer in his next chapters.

Soon, they heard a doorbell ring. It was Venus, along with a few others of the club members coming worried for Dipper’s wellbeing. The club had a rare day off on holidays and his close friends decided to visit him. They didn’t want him spending Christmas alone again as he had the year before, in the arms of a stranger. Venus was surprised to see Bill there, but was happy for the turn of events. They’d all spread merry cheers for the holiday spirit as the dancers led his friends in with a warm welcome. He hadn’t expected visitors much less presents from each of them since he hadn’t planned to give them anything, but they were more than glad that he’d offered to bake for them. They knew full well of how great all of his treats were, so they accepted his present with warm smiles.

A few hours later, another group came ringing to his doorbell. It was his college friends. The redhead and a few others of his friends came over to party as they shared a similar worry as the club members. The girl ended up joking how she’d come crashing this party which Dipper welcomed with open arms. And it’d truly become a party. His music blazing in the background as he’d served cinnamon eggnog, spiced gingerbread cookies, chocolate-caramel brittles, lemon squares, and sea salt brownie cookies which were all divine to say the least. He’d baked using everything he had in his kitchen and shared more than enough with everyone. The redhead pumped her fists and cheered with joy as he surprised her with a peanut butter pie that he’d secretly baked as she talked to a few of his club friends.

Only a few of his college friends knew he worked as a dancer, so the rest of them were a bit more than surprised when the all dancers started dancing seductively when one of their club songs came on. They swayed their hips and pumped their chests towards them jokingly over the ones who flustered to their actions. Once the song stopped and shuffled to some classical music, they stopped their dance and busted out laughing before a few of them began waltzing. When they did, the writer saw Dipper cast an indescribable expression over his face for only a fraction of a second before he started laughing along.

The day ended merrily with everyone stuffed and exhausted as they all returned home after a whole day of partying. All that was left in the home was the dancer and the writer. Dipper crashed onto the couch with a chuckle in his lips, not even bothering to clean up the leftover bits of dinner and dessert left on his table as he fell asleep in exhaust. Again, the writer witnessed the sight of the boy’s sleeping face so peaceful with a smile plastered on his face as he drifted in slumber. He looked happy. And Bill was happy things were back just where they belonged.

The writer took it in himself to clean up the house for him, despite the mess he had in his own house. It wasn’t the best work, but he managed to keep all the foods refrigerated to keep out from spoiling and somewhat cleaned up the mess from the counters and tables. He’d thrown all the leftover cups into the sink before deciding to carry the dancer to his bed since he looked a bit uncomfortable shifting around on the couch. The boy was light and thin like he’d remembered from that first night, but there was also a new warmth that he hadn’t remember against the skin he held. He didn’t mean to crash alongside him on his bed after setting him down, but the energy suddenly left him as he felt the flush relief for the boy sleeping so soundly in the warmth of his bed. And the writer slept next to him, dreaming of the boy once more.

He wasn’t overpowering over the writer in dominance, nor was he sweetly bare under him, no. All he saw that night was his sweet smile and his adorable laugh as he unknowingly hugged his arms tighter around the sleeping boy.

The boy, however, dreamed again of his sister. The laughter he adored as she swayed her hips to the music along with him as they cooked in their kitchen together. She flicked water from her fingers onto Dipper’s face as she cleaned up the vegetables and the boy laughed, wrestling her in a playful hug as he swung her around in his arms.

With the shuffle of her IPod as trap music began to play, she starting changing her movements along with Dipper as they began grinding against each other with laughter. He felt her so close to him. He felt her heart beating against his. She’d run down her usual club movements on him like always and he’d fall into her entrapment every time. The way she’d bounce down to her knees before slowly rising back up, feeling the sides up Dipper gently at the tips of her finger. How she’d lean her back against him rolling her chest down against him. She would whip her hair around so seductively before giving him the same look of love in her eyes. He loved the way she danced. The pure joy she always felt doing only what she loved to do. She never cared what others thought of her. She just wanted to do anything that made her happy. She loved to bake so she baked. She loved to knit so he knitted. She loved to dance so she danced. And he loved every part of her. He felt joy feeling her joy doing everything she wanted, with no one now to restrain her after they moved out of their parent’s house. She loved down on him with seductive, erotic movements as she swayed her hips in time with Dipper to the music.

With another shuffle of her IPod, their dance was stopped with the sudden slow pace of classical music and the two burst out into laughter. Once their laughs slowed, Dipper bowed to her, requesting for her hand as they began waltzing around their kitchen with the thought of running water leaving their mind. She giggled as her brother so gently, so tenderly spun her around before holding her in his arms close. She moved her hands off his as she glided them down his sides to hug around him in a tight embrace. “I love you.” She deeply sighed with a small giggle in her voice as she stared longingly into his starry eyes.

He stared back into hers and curled up his smile against her lips as he whispered against it. “I love you too.”

Dipper opened his eyes groggily to feel warm arms around him. He smiled and wrapped them in tighter, but when he took full in of someone other than his sister in his arms, he flinched at the arms around him. Bill had fallen asleep, wrapping his arms around the dancer, and the writer hadn’t even noticed the dancer wake in the middle of the night. The dancer scrunched his hand tight around his ring before bringing it to another kiss. He curled up in his self with a soft tear falling from his eyes, though he never left the arms of the writer. He knew it was wrong to take in this warmth when he had Mabel, but he just couldn’t help himself from leaning closer to the man. The arms around him just felt so nostalgic, painfully so, that he didn’t what anything else but to indulge himself in it. It reminded him of a feeling he’d only been reminded through in his dreams. And here it was, real. In his arms. It was wrong to do this, to take advantage of the man like this, but this is a small chance he decided to spoil himself in.

The writer confusedly woke up to a clean room unlike his own, but when he realized his arms wrapped around the sleeping dancer as his arms wrapped around him the writer slightly flinched away, pulling his arms off the boy.

With the slight movement, the dancer began to wake up. He rubbed his eyes weakly as he blinked, trying to take in the morning. “Morning” he greeted with a hoarse voice as he blink in harder at the sight of the morning sun. Once fully awake, he saw the writer staring blankly at the dancer with wide eyes. He let out a short chuckle and repeated teasingly with a half-smile and one brow raised, “I said ‘morning.’”

 “…M-Morning?” the writer blinked, confused of his situation as he watched the dancer sit up from his bed with a chuckle in his voice.

“You wanna take a shower? I can led you some of my clothes if you want. I probably have something big enough for you somewhere in my closet.”

“…uhh, sure?” he still laid in the bed, tangled in his chaotic thoughts. He had no idea what was going on. Was he still dreaming?

The dancer dug through his closet as the writer sat up from the bed and headed towards him. The boy handed him a set of clothes before shooing him into his bathroom.

The dancer turned on his stereo once more, shuffling through songs until he found one he felt like listening to and danced away to the kitchen to start up breakfast. Once the writer cleaned himself up, waking himself up in the cold water, he slipped on the sweater and pants that the dancer had given to him. It was a large yellow sweater with a strange symbol of a triangle that had an eye inside it. He chuckled at Mabel’s creativity as he looking at the sweater through the mirror of the bathroom. He brought the collar of the sweater close to his nose and took a sniff. It smelled like maple syrup. It smelled like Dipper. He couldn’t help feeling giddy at the fact. He exited into the kitchen to find the dancer setting a ready-made stack of peppermint pancakes. It was a surprise he had any ingredients left after last night.

The dancer chuckled at the writer as he entered into his view. “That sweater looks great on you. It strangely fits your personality.” He smiled as he attempted the best he could to brush off the leftover glitter, not even noticing the fluster and heart pounding of the writer from his touch. His smile wavered, taking another onceover at the design, lightly tracing over the stitching with muscle memory before gaining back his smile and turning his view over to his face. “Do you want it?”

“What?” the writer couldn’t hold back a small squeak in his voice and slightly cursed to himself for his stupid voice.

“Well, I was thinking, this sweater is way too big for me and I never really wear it all that much since it looks like a dress on me, so I should probably give it away or something. Plus it looks pretty good on you. Though I don’t think this would count as a great Christmas present, but would you still want it?” he shrugged returning back to his stove, he peeled the design to look up to the writer, that same indescribable expression fixated on his face until he let out a bigger, sweeter grin.

“Y-ya sure! Thank you.” He returned the smile of the dancer as he spun around, pulling his sweater lightly to lead the writer to a stack of pancakes.

“Breakfast.” He chuckled, handing the writer a fork for him to use. “Eat.” He instructed with a pat of the back before he swayed his strong hip back to his room. He had heard the shower run as he ate diligently at the delicious stack. It was way too good to be true.

Bill had nearly finished the stack when he heard the running water shut to a close and a bed of wet brown curls entered the room with a towel ruffling through it. He wore a thin tank top with yoga pants as he rummaged through the fridge. The writer watched as the kid took a few swigs down at the carton of orange juice as his body lightly beat to the music. He placed back the carton back in the fridge with a swipe of his mouth before humming along to the song again. He looked back to the writer with a smile as he danced his body in small movements before suddenly stopping with a realization.

The boy’s cheeks began to blush as he stopped his movements, awkwardly rubbing his neck. “Uhh, I um, have to go to work soon.”

Then Bill was reminded once again of their first night together and held a slight tint in his cheeks. “O-oh. Ya, sure. I’ll- I’ll leave after this plate.”

The dancer stopped rubbing his neck and chuckled at the writer’s face. “You…don’t have to leave if you want to. Though I doubt there’d be anything to do here, you can stay here for a while if you want.” He said with a smile.

Bill returned the smile. Dipper all of a sudden took the fork from his hand and took a bit of his pancake before sticking it back into the plate. “I’ll go get ready then.” He said as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he returned back to his room with a sway of hips.

The writer stared back to the fork set atop the nearly empty plate before embarrassingly taking another bite at the breakfast. He silently cursed to himself for acting like such a kid as he finished the rest of the plate.

Bill placed the plate into the sink as Dipper exited his room. “Just leave it in the sink. I’ll clean it up later.” The dancer carried his duffle bag to the stereo to turn off his IPod before stuffing it into his bag. “See you later Bill.” He said with a smile as he exited the door.

Bill mirrored his smile, “later…” and Dipper closed the door to head to the club.

Bill felt giddy inside. He so wanted to stay here until the dancer came back just so he could welcome him back, but he also wanted to dash back to his room to write more on his private series.

Bill looked around the room. It was quiet. It was warm. With a smile, he lingered the rooms, brushing his fingers over the table, over the stereo, and over each photo on the mantle of Dipper and his sister. He smiled as he saw once again the embarrassing picture of Dipper’s lammy-lammy dance on the wall above his television.

He lined his finger across the photos across the wall of his hall till he made his way down to his bedroom. And he stared at the empty bed. But it didn’t look lonely. It looks warm and inviting as the covers were spread messily on top of the bed. He smiled as he took the pillow that Dipper had just been sleeping on and took a sniff of it. The smell of Dipper still fresh against its fluff. Ya, it was pretty creepy that Bill hung around, sniffing the dancer’s stuff, but he wasn’t there seeing him so it’s fine. He bedded his face against the soft of his pillow, curling a grin against it. Then he caught sight of a familiar photo. It was him and his sister again. The photo which he looked most happy in. He picked up the photo and looked into the sparkle of the dancer’s eyes with a grin bigger than his face. But in his periphery, he saw it again. It was the glass box, hidden behind the photo of the pair. His smile slightly thinned as he set down the photo to pick up the box. The clear glass box with a slight blue tint held a small fitted pillow on the inside of it like he had last seen, but this time he saw his ring bedded in it. The usual ring he often wore except when he went to work. He slowly opened the box and lightly lined over the ring. A crescent moon with a shooting star in the middle of it. The star was bedded with a small diamond. It looked expensive. Like a wedding ring. If Mabel had a boyfriend, he must’ve really loved her to give him a ring as pretty as this, but since Dipper had it, it must’ve been a family heirloom or something. It looked so pretty.


	11. Chapter 11

New Year came and went like a flash. It was spent in a similar fashion as Christmas with all their friends partying. They only had night shows during New Year’s Eve so they used the closed club to have a little party for all their friends. Most of the dancers attended as well as a few of their friends. Dipper brought along Bill and found that he’d already known nearly all the dancers there, which was a bit of a surprise to him. Of course Bill had no intentions of telling him that he’d slept with nearly half of them, but Dipper could kind of guess it with how the dancers talked to him.

They passed around drinks as a few of the dancers danced on stage for fun. Dipper refused to dance as he was a bit too embarrassed, but he just couldn’t pass down on the drinks. Bill thought it was a bit weird that Dipper was being quieter than he usually was. He didn’t much interact with the dancers and only talked if they initiated the conversation first, with the exception to a certain green haired girl. It seemed that Dipper had been trying to bring up the courage to finally talk to Carson again, and of course when he did, he only managed to mutter a small word of “hi” before he scurried away with a tint on his cheek. He buried himself in his drink, too nervous to look back at the girl, but she was happy. She was glad he was talking to her again after a little more than a year of silence.

The year ended with another party at Dipper’s. Most of the dancers were busy with work, so only a few of them could come, but most of his college friends came over. It wasn’t really planned since it was his friends who suggested it last minute, but he was glad for it anyway. He’d spent the end of the year with all his close friends and Bill.

Ever since Christmas, the relationship between Dipper and Bill began to change. Bill would visit Dipper every so often at the club to visit him and his club friends. Through the first month and a half, Dipper tried avoiding him out of embarrassment from his outfit. Bill would just chuckle at how nervous Dipper would get whenever he was around. Of course he was jealous when Dipper danced for others and refused to dance for him, but he didn’t mind it as he found the dancer began getting more comfortable with him when they were at home. He’d found that, slowly, the dancer got more relaxed in the way he’d danced with him, in front of his eyes only. The dancer’s movements were getting larger, yet still softer than his club dances, as time went on.

It wasn’t until Valentine’s Day that he’d become comfortable with Bill’s presence. He’d once again performed center stage at work. Not particularly for Bill, though he’d like to think otherwise, but Dipper did give a special show that holiday on its occasion. After that, he started not minding Bill’s visits and small chats with him at the club.

Dipper would visit Bill at his place about once a week to read or share ideas with him. He’d watch as Bill would write at his story while trying to guess what the next part was going to be about. Bill, on the other hand, visited Dipper’s place nearly every day for meals. Dipper complained at his unhealthy lifestyle when he found that Bill would skip meals to work on his book, so he’d made it his duty to feed the damn writer leaving no room for Bill’s refusal when he’d crash into his room if Bill didn’t come over as scheduled. But occasionally, when Bill was in the zone, Dipper could only wait patiently with a pout as he typed so he wouldn’t disturb the man. Bill teased that he should just feed into his mouth as he typed if he didn’t want to bother him. At the first few teases Dipper would blush and profusely refuse, but after a while, he’d gotten tired of waiting as Bill sat there typing for hours on end, skipping lunch and dinner. Surprisingly, Bill would get more into his writing whenever Dipper fed him. He’d feel his heart beat with Dipper so close to him and find so many ideas flow into his head as Dipper complied to feeding him with a roll of his eyes.

Of course, when Bill came over to eat, he’d help pay for groceries as he helped out around the kitchen with him. He wasn’t that much of an asshole. Dipper did mention once – and only once – that he was glad Bill came over to eat so often since he’d felt lonely eating alone since Mabel left. Bill would actively talk about Mabel like he knew her to Dipper since he knew just how much Dipper liked talking about her.

They’d become like best friends after the few months since they met. They joked more often than before, teasing each other at every little thing they did like how Bill would be so useless without him. Which was pretty true, by the way. He didn’t even try to say otherwise. If Dipper wasn’t there, he was pretty sure he’d be drowning in the mess that trashed his house. Dipper complained each time he came over, but still helped clean up for him anyway. He’d even once found an old moldy sandwich under his “couch” that was buried under piles of books and reference files. Dipper instantly complained, but the writer only laughed at how angry he got as he said something along the lines of “so that’s where it went off to.”

Bill teased the dancer no less than how much the dancer teased him. The dancer once mentioned that he had an awkward moment with one of his professors when he’d accidentally bumped into him in the club a little more than a year ago. Of course, he didn’t find out it was him at first when they met since he was covered in glitter, but after a couple visits the man finally requested for him and that only ended in nothing less than awkward. He never came back when he found out. And after he told him that story, Bill couldn’t help holding it down on the boy each time he visited the club as he teasingly mentioned “so how’s it going with that professor of yours? He come visit lately?” every time he came in. Dipper with just roll his eyes with a disgruntle grunt before ignoring the man.

They’d become too great of friends. But as always, Bill would confess to him again. At first, Dipper was kind of awkward about it as he kept pushing it away whenever he’d brought it up, but slowly he’d became more lenient with the little loves Bill would give. Bill, of course, felt a bit more than annoyed whenever he did that, but he’d calm himself saying that he needed to take this slowly. He can’t force himself onto Dipper, not like when he did with his previous relationship, so he’d left little reminders to him to let him know he loves him. He’d leave little notes randomly around his apartment with small spoilers of his book, random fun facts, and ‘I love you’s in his books, cabinets, and wherever he knows Dipper would look. He’d hug Dipper as he’s cooking, which Dipper stopped caring about after the first hundred times until his hugs turned into small pecks. Of course, every time he’d get used to Bill’s little antics with a roll of the eye or a sigh, Bill would move up a step further. First it was just hugs, then it went to small peck on the cheek, then the ears, then the neck, then lips before the little pecks started becoming kisses. Though Dipper would just push his face away with a shy ‘stop’ each time he did so, Bill still felt happy that he didn’t mind it all that much. It did hurt a little that he’d always just push it off, but he liked the way his ears would get a little red after each time he’d kiss him.  

They’d known each other for a little less than half a year and Dipper had already become really at ease with Bill. Bill liked that way Dipper was so comfortable with him to dance for him as they cooked. Bill found that his dances at home were much more different than the ones he’d use at work. His movements were much softer and lovelier than the harsh, sexual hips that swayed at work. His swinging arms would have a gentler touch and his legs would glide much laxer. And the way he hummed and sang along to the songs gave that special touch. Though it felt more laidback, Bill liked this dance much better than those at work. It was ones only he would see after all. Of course all of it was just for jokes and laughs, but Dipper would occasionally grind against him with a laugh as the song changed to something more sensual. He’d rub his entire body against his back as Bill cleaned the ingredients at the sink and Bill could only give a weak awkward laugh in return. Dipper would tease every time he sees Bill so flustered as he rubs his hands down his side, or nudge his hips against his, or breaths down his neck, until he’d had enough.

Seriously, it was starting to piss him off how Dipper was teasing him so much even though he already knows how he feels. Being just a little more than friends, but less than lovers, he’d teetered at the peak of enough for too long. So he attacked. He’d taken his actions seriously and kissed him down rough and hard. And when Dipper tried to fluster away, Bill pulled him in deeper as he wrapped his arms around him. When Dipper tried to call out to him, he just slipped his tongue in capturing him further. He clutched at his head when Dipper tried to pull away with a push. He just pressed in further. And he took his breath away. He lined the walls of his mouth as he felt the tongue and teeth across from his stutter at its touch. It wasn’t until he and Dipper were both left into a panting mess that he’d let go of his mouth and opened his eyes. He looked back into hazy eyes with lips lined against lips. And a single tear began to fall from his eyes.

“S-Sorry” he immediately pulled back at the sight, but that just made Dipper nearly fall down limp from lack of support. Bill managed to catch him just before he fell. “Whoa, Dipper, a-are you alright?”

“I’m f-…I’m fine…” Dipper huffed, quickly wiping away the wet from his eye as he gripped onto Bill’s shirt and rested his head against his shoulder as he tried to catch his breath and sniffled. “What the…hell is wrong with you?” he puffed between breaths with a voice that couldn’t even sound threatening.

Bill felt a twitch in his eye. He gripped tighter around Dipper. “…I’ve already told you how I felt… many times. Do you really have to tease me like this?” He’d nearly hissed at the boy if his voice wasn’t so soft.

Bill cringed, but fell back slightly after a while when Dipper fell silent. He gripped his fists tighter in anticipation as he waited for Dipper to answer, to say anything. He felt breaths of a chuckle against his chest as a fist clenched tighter at his shirt, “I guess… that was all on me then. Sorry...”

Bill furrowed his eyebrows and loosened his grip around him. He moved a hand to cup around his cheeks, lifting it up. He saw back into glassy eyes that refused to look at him and a bit of breathlessness against his lips and instantly asked him, “I’m serious about you, Dipper. Isn’t there any way I can make you mine?”

“I- I-” Dipper’s eyes shot open at him as he felt tint against his cheek as he stuttered. He nervously looked away as he gripped at the hand that cupped his face, but he didn’t pull it away yet. “I- N-No I can’t possibly….” But before he could continue, Bill gripped at his face tighter.

“Please Dipper. Give me a chance. Won’t you be my boyfriend?”

“I…” Dipper slowly looked back up to the man and saw desperation on his face. Longing eyes stared back into Dipper’s. “I…” he paused, slightly biting those full lips of his and curling his perfect brows, and seeming to have decided something, he took in a sharp breath, “Y-you know what. Ya… Ya. o-ok. I’ll, uh, I’ll go out with you...”

Bill’s eyes widened back up as he moved his head in closer, noses nearly touching. “Really?”

Dipper didn’t move his head back as the man closed in on him. He just smiled, brows curled, as he gripped tighter around the hand that wrapped his face. “Do you want it to be a joke then?”

“N-No. No! You’re really serious about this?” he felt a grin stretching around his face as he sighed in disbelief. But his smile thinned slightly when he saw the downcast eyes across from his that he’d held for only a second before looking back up to him with a bright, warm smile.  Dipper pulled away the hand on his face only to move in up towards his lips to a kiss.

“I’ll try my best” he whispered against his lips as he felt the smile stretch wider against his. Dipper squeaked out a silent yelp as Bill tightly embraced into him, lifting him up to spin around as he laughed in joy. “B-Bill!” he laughed along.

Bill was really genuinely happy for the month that they’d been together, and to be honest, Dipper was too. They’d spent so much time together, more than usual. And Bill could see Dipper’s smile brighter by each day that came. Little kisses that the dancer surprised him with left Bill truly happy. He loved the way his lips felt against his skin. And Bill could’ve sworn that during that month, Dipper’s casual dances grew a bit more sexual than usual around him. Just a bit. It made him giddy whenever Dipper would chuckle lovingly whenever Bill whispered he loved him before the dancer pecked a kiss at him as a response. 

Though Bill had yet to hear words of confirmation that Dipper loved him as well when they were together, Bill was happy none the less. That is until Bill’s old habits came up once again. The reason for the end of his last relationship became the end of this one.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some non-con in this chapter

It was during Bill’s birthday when it happened.

Dipper took them out on a little date to the movies. They watched the new horror movie that Bill had been waiting to see for the past month and he wasn’t disappointed. That movie lived up to its hype despite his suspicions. And he was glad to be watching it with Dipper. It was cute how Dipper would clung to him whenever he got scared, though he liked to say otherwise that he was just making sure Bill didn’t feel scared as he held on.

They went to the arcade for a couple hours before Dipper got too annoyed and embarrassed by how many times Bill would randomly just embrace him in public, so they went home. They ate pizza and cuddled in front of the TV in Bill’s home despite Dipper’s insistence on cooking, but Bill just wanted to have a lazy day. Dipper complied with a sigh since it was Bill’s birthday and did whatever Bill wanted for that day so he just went with it. Neither of them was much interested in the show much as they were with themselves. Bill was too distracted by the sweet nothings Dipper whispered in his ears to pay attention to the random variety show they happened to switch the channel on.

“You really thought today was fun? We didn’t really even do much today.” Dipper chuckled, leaning closer into the arms that held around him.

“It was.” Bill leaned in closer, laying a careful kiss against soft lips. Dipper hummed against the touch.

“Ya? There’s nothing else you want?”

Bill hummed in thought before chuckling at a certain thought, “how about you give me a lap dance then?”

He’d only said it as half a joke, but Dipper’s actions were a bit curious. “What?” His widened with surprise and his cheeks flushed a bright pink.

Bill raised an eyebrow, but still smiled none the less at his cute reaction. “What? I’m just saying I’d like to see you dance for me again.”

“Th- That’s not what I- I mean it’s not-… um, I’m just uh-…” Dipper flustered his eyes away from the writer, but still leaned in closer when he wrapped tighter around the dancer.

Bill chuckled. “It’s not like I’m making you or anything.” Bill was being pretty lenient on his dancing. Though he’d like to see him dance over him again, he’d rather it be when Dipper was comfortable enough to do it. He liked the way his soft hips moved during his laidback dancing and he’d only dance like that when he felt comfortable enough, so he made sure he didn’t push it onto the dancer.

“No, uh, it’s not what I- um, I’m, uh- I’m…fine with it. Just a bit embarrassed….” Bill blinked a bit with surprise.

“Embarrassed? You do this for a living. Plus it’s not even your first time with me.” Bill chuckled.

“Well… that’s because you were a customer.” Dipper pouted, but Bill hummed against his cute puckered lips once again.

“Is it different if you’re not a customer?”

“It’s very different” Dipper insisted as he pulled away from Bill’s lips despite the displeasure it brought onto the writer. Bill pouted with an arched eyebrow as he watched the dancer contemplating something in his head before grabbing onto the writer’s arm. “Come with me” he shyly said as he dragged the writer into his bedroom.

The writer fell into a loss as the dancer pushed him onto the bed before climbing onto his lap. The dancer sat on his lap with a tint on his cheek and ears as he waiting for a response from the writer. He was over him once again. The same sensation of weight over his lap, the same smell of him filling his nose, yet so much different than before. Eyes were still starry, but held a softer shine with his nervousness.

Bill cracked a smile looking at his face. The man who was finally his. And Dipper mirrored back a smile in response before slowly lifting himself up from the lap. Again, his crotch was near inches away from his face, but their eyes never tore off from each other. The dancer caressed once through Bill’s hair, in the way Bill loved most, before tilting his head back. With a suck of a breath, the eyes which drew the writer in left his sight with a roll of the chest and a shift of his shoulders. Despite the lack of music, the dancer still managed to pace through in a familiar beat as he reeled in the writer closer to him with the way he moved.

He was right. It was so much more different. The way his hips softly brushed across him with each roll. How his hands fingered through his own hair, caressing down his neck with eyes that dug through the writer’s heart so gently. His chest feathering against his chin so he could take in his sweet scent even further. It was how much closer he was than ever before. It was love he could feel towards the dancer as he rolled in, inviting the writer. Then he drifted away to Bill’s displeasure, but the sight he took in was no less enticing than before. The dancer tilted back, arching his chest up, as he lowered and lowered and lowered until he looked like he would fall off the lap that he caged between his thighs, but he never did.  He pumped his chest up to the music that didn’t play around them and rolled his head around his shoulders in pleasure. His hair fell back from his actions and revealed the stars glowing on his forehead once more to the writer. Despite being so far away from the writer, it didn’t feel any less sensual than it had before. In fact, Bill couldn’t be any less turned on as he gulped down the saliva that watered down his dry throat.

It was nothing like how he ever remembered before. So much more fleshly. So much more erotic. Yet so much sweeter than anything ever before. Bill couldn’t help fingering up his stomach so gently from under his sweater and the dancer gasped his chest up in response. His heart clenched at the sight. The dancer’s chest curving higher in the air he hovered over, his head tilting back further with a gasp followed by a soft hum. The sight was too much for him to take in. He started moving his hand higher up his chest, lifting his clothes up higher, as the dancer leaned up to the touch. Soft, gentle pecks against stomach made the dancer hum just a bit louder, but he still continued beating his body to the imaginary tempo. The writer nuzzled his hand round to his side, caressing it in the light grip of his touch before he descended down further until his hand met with a hard bulge.

Then he couldn’t take it anymore. He scooped up the dancer from his low tilt and threw him back onto his bed before messily kissing against his lips. The dancer gasped between breaths as he took in the mouth that savored his sweet taste. He pulled his hands around blond hair, folding through locks of golden to feel deeper into the tongue that embraced his. Bill grinned at the whine that rung into his lips when he palmed against the dancer’s bulk. He slipped his hand down under his pants, letting the dancer hum into his mouth as he pulled the writer down ever so deeper from the back of his head.

The dancer sung out of his mouth finally when the writer gripped his palm around his girth, stroking it down to a slow beat. Bill let him slip out of his mouth as the dancer tilted his head back with a moan, digging it back into the pillow below him. He just smiled against the neck he burrowed against before moving his head down to the hard cock that pulsed against his hand. He took in the sight with a breathy grin. Every part of him was beautiful, but this was no less breathtaking. He took in the arching dancer, gasping with slightly rocking hips from the lack of friction, for only a moment before taking down the head of it into his mouth. The dancer gasped out, gripping tightly at the sheets around him with his chest heaving higher, as his teeth pleasurably brushed down his length.

“-Bill” he let out so quietly, but Bill couldn’t help chuckling against his cock from the sound that smoothly cooed in his ears. The sound that made him so lightheaded.

Bill let out a soft moan as he took in deeper down his length. He watched as the man above him trembled under his touch. Bright tinges of red kissed his cheeks as he tried hiding it behind his hand along with the moans that wanted to leave his mouth. It shook at his heart at how much of the dancer’s sounds he couldn’t hold back because of him. The writer lowered in deeper, slightly choking himself at the length as the dancer was left gasping, arching his chest up from the bed in pleasure as his hips quietly swayed through the ring of the writer’s mouth. The dancer bit back his lip to hold his moan as he gripped tightly at his sweater. But he couldn’t keep it down. With another twist of his tongue as he bobbed down once again, the dancer was left in a string of moans so loud it pleasured the writer’s ears like honey. But then, he had to moan out a name…

“Mabel.” He let out quietly under his breath, but Bill heard it as clear as day.

With a twitch, he quickly released from his cock wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he hissed, “What?”

From the sudden voice of a male, the dancer twitched and looked at the face of the writer with wide eyes. “I- I-” the dancer couldn’t even mouth out an excuse as he stuttered through words.

“Did I mishear… or did I actually hear you say… ‘Mabel’?” Bill could feel a twitch in his eye as he held back a snarl with the disbelief in his voice.  

“w-wait. I-I can explain.”

“Explain?...Were you…fucking your sister?!” Bill shocked out with an angered growl… It…It made sense now. Every mention of his sister, every time his smile glistened at the mention of her, it wasn’t because he’d loved her for being family. It’d been because he was fucking her.

“B-Bill I-” the boy again stuttered, but was stopped by a sudden slap to his face. Bill was shocked. He felt betrayed. He felt deceived. He’d been taking him down as he was thinking of his fucking sister?!

“Don’t fucking call my name” he growled as he held the boy down by the neck into the bed.

The boy started struggling under his hold, scratching at the hand that held him down for some way of release as Bill pinned down his breath. The boy released a breath of air as the man let go only to pull down on the brunette’s hair. “You were fucking your goddamn sister?!”

The boy didn’t respond as he whimpered in pain at the tight tug against his scalp. “You’ve got to be shitting me! You’re fucking disgusting” Bill hissed breathless with distaste above him as he gripped at the hair tighter. Something in his stomach clenched, and it felt like a string inside him snapped. The boy started thrashing around to stop the grip around him, but Bill’s body held him down with a heavy clutch around the boy. He couldn’t move, but he still kept thrashing anyway. “Stop moving!” Bill shouted, pulling at the hair, opening his neck as he took a hard bite at his neck. The boy cried in pain as he’d nearly ripped down to break blood.

“You’re fucking filthy.” Bill moved his hand away from the tight grip on his hair only to lower it down to hold him down by the waist. He pushed hard against waist and shoulder he held down, clawing his nailed into his skin with repulsion. The boy under him cried out again in pain as tears began filling his eyes. “You were sucking down on your fucking sister? Christ, did you fucking love it?!” The boy’s sobs got louder at his words as Bill lowered his tight grip as he clawed down his pants. “You make me sick.” He took the boy’s length and squeezed hard against it as he screamed out in pain, arching back up to the man. “You and your whore sister!!”

Dipper choked on a sob and a cry as he took in a breath before striking at the man above him. He curled his fists and resisted the tight hold against him to punch at his face. Once the man’s grip loosened from him, Dipper kicked down at his stomach as he screamed a sob at the man, “I don’t care what you call me, but I’m not gonna let you talk about my sister like that!!” Bill raged at his sudden actions, curling his fists to beat on the boy, but he was one step further. The boy punched at the other side of man’s cheek, plummeting him down onto the bed as he ran fast and away from the man’s imprisonment.

Once he heard the door slam, he suddenly remembered the thought of his last love. It ended nearly the same way. He felt the pain against his face and stomach, but could only feel anger consuming in him. This was just like how his last relationship ended. Bill had always had an anger issue and often resulted in yelling and beating his last partner until he had enough of it and ran away from him. He moved to this town to find back his love, but ended in disaster when he could never find him and bathing himself in the false love of a lap dance at the nearby club. He thought long and hard about it as to why it ended the way it did and tried his best to stop himself from making the same mistake again with this new love he found. He really, honesty tried holding himself back from Dipper, but he couldn’t help the betrayal Dipper made him feel. Disgusting. How could he do this to him? He clutched his fists to stop himself from punching anything and everything in his room and from charging into the boy’s to start beating him. Though he felt angered by the boy, he didn’t want to make the situation worse by nearly killing him again as the last partner. So he sped to his computer.

The therapeutic escape to let out all the anger gripping in his mind was only borderline help to him this time. He was barely able to keep his fists contained as he furiously typed his frustrations away at a new file he’d ended creating because of the dancer. He couldn’t take it in himself to delete the sweet words he’d spent so much time writing, but he also couldn’t stop the curses of hate in each word that typed in the new file for Dipper. How he’d lied to him. How he deceived him. He was disgusting. An abomination. How could he have the audacity to do something like that. He didn’t even try denying it. He’d never once told him that he loved him. Not once had he probably been thinking about him. How the boy’s mind was only filled with his fucking sister with every kiss he gave him. How every smile he gave was never for him. He wrote about every fucking glisten of stars he’d loved in his eyes had only shone towards his sister. About what a fucking lie all his love was. And each word he wrote tore his heart out. He didn’t even feel the tears burning his eyes as he typed, the anger blinding every feeling he had in him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo... did you enjoy your birthday, Bill?


	13. Chapter 13

Dipper slammed back into his room, curling up in his bed with a sob as he clutched the ring embracing his finger. He cried from the disgust Bill felt for him. The repulsion his face held as he found out. This is why he didn’t want anyone finding out. He hated it. The distaste they felt. He doesn’t want the sweet memories of his sister ruining his relationship. He didn’t mean for it. Not when he loved her so much. He doesn’t want to forget her. But he doesn’t want it holding him back because that’s not what Mabel would’ve wanted.

He cried thinking of Bill. He earnestly thought he would finally be able to feel better about his sister. Not to forget, but to accept. He was so close to accepting that she was gone from his life whenever he was with Bill. He made him very happy. He’d forgotten how to have fun like he had with his sister, but Bill brought that back for him. He thought, he really thought things would finally be over. But that face. That face of utter repulsion. It hurt. Everything hurt. But he hardly felt the pain in his neck and his shoulder from the tight grip by Bill just moments before. All he could feel was his stomach tightening up and his throat burning. He felt like throwing up.

What would she do if she was him? What would she do? This wasn’t what he wanted.

His eyes dried as he fell into a sleep. In those strings of nights without Bill, he’d dreamed a line of firsts he had spent together with his sister. All those beautiful times together.

 

The first night was his first kiss.

They were thirteen. When Dipper was having mixed feelings for his sister, ones that he didn’t yet understand. As he looked back on it, he chuckled at the innocence of himself. It was just a joke at first. Mabel was just joking when she made fun of him for not being able to talk to new people in her lessons on making friends in preparations for high school. “It’s cuz you just don’t have the guts to, bro-bro!” she chuckled.

Dipper pouted at her insult, “I-I’ve got guts!”

And he moved in to kiss her on the lips, just as a joke. He thought she’d just knock it off with a laugh, telling him that she was surprised he’d actually had the courage to do something like that, but when he parted with her lips, he saw wide bright eyes staring back at him. A bright face and shocked eyes mirrored his as they both blushed with embarrassment. The rest of the year was kinda awkward for the both of them as they tried forgetting about that incident. It was soon after that he realized his feelings for her. And he became scared of them.

 

The second night was a sweet dream he’d always loved just as all the rest of his memories of her. Of when he first confessed to her.

They were freshmen in high school and Mabel was once again comforting him after he was bullied for his birthmark.

He was crying and Mabel was hugging around him, rubbing soft circles in his back with one hand as the other ran through his hair. He both hated and loved her touch. But when she pecked a light kiss against his ear, he accidentally blurted it out. “I love you.”

“I love you too” Mabel returned as always. No, No. He didn’t mean it as siblings. And it hurt him that he didn’t. It pained his heart every time she always followed it up with the same words but different meanings. It stabbed right into him. He clenched his fists as he pushed her back.

“No. You don’t understand Mabel!...I’m- I’m in love with you. Not the same way you love me Mabel. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Mabel! I said not-”

But he was interrupted by a gentle kiss on the lips. “I love you too” she repeated, hovering just over his lips as he stared back into her hazy eyes.

 

The third night was a heavenly night. It was of their first time together, shortly after their confession.

The next time their parents were away for the entire night after that incident, Dipper was watching as his sister happily danced to the music on the bed across from his. He thought the loud music drowned out his voice when he whispered that he loved her, but Mabel stopped her movements and blushed at her brother.

Dipper blushed at her reaction and covered his mouth with surprise when she looked to his with the same surprise in her eyes. “I-I uh-” Dipper could only stutter out stupidly as he looked away from his sister with embarrassment.

But she scooted herself over to kiss him. “I love you too” she whispered embarrassingly. He looked absentmindedly into her eyes, not noticing that he’d raised his hands to caress his cheek until she flinched at the touch.

“S-Sorry!” he shifted his hands off of her, but Mabel went to grab it and slowly brought it back to her cheeks, leaning so tenderly into the touch.

He took in the feeling, swiping his fingers over her soft skin and through her long brown curls, as he saw stars in her eyes. It was an unbelievable sight. Never before had he seen her eyes shine so brightly before. It was like the whole universe shone in her eyes.

And he kissed her. Tenderly and gentle, but it soon turned into a clash as he tussled Mabel around to have her under him on the bed. She didn’t run away when he began sliding his hands up her sweater. Instead she did the same. She unzipped his jacket and started feeling over his chest.

Soon enough they were bare and embarrassed over each other as they took in the sight of each other. They’d seen their bare bodies many of times before, but not like this. She looked so much more beautiful than he’d ever seen. Like an angel. Like a goddess.

Their first time was painful and awkward, but they felt the love in each touch. They felt the love until they were left seeing stars.

And finally, exhausting over her with a final pair gasps, they lay next to each other. She looked over wearily at her as he did the same. They saw galaxies in each other’s eyes as they started giggling like madmen. “I love you Mabel. I love you so much.” Tears pricked up in his eyes and fell like rain as hers did the same.

“I love you too.”

 

The fourth night was not a very happy memory. It was the last they’d seen of their parents. But it was also the first time they’d decided to live for themselves.

They had just graduated and Mabel was climbing over Dipper for a little something special as a celebration.

“So mom and dad aren’t going to be home tonight. You know what that means.” Her smile was teasing and playful, but he loved it none the less.

Dipper smiled as she began dancing over his lap so teasingly above him. She bit down at the hem of her sweater allowing Dipper to kiss up her chest. The soft skin of her breasts as he unhooked her bra tasted so sweet, so much like Mabel. “Can you go grab a condom?” he asked as he bit off her bra.

She chuckled as she lifted her sweater off with the bra and leaned over to their nightstand, digging through his socks to pull out the small packet hidden in one of them. She bent down on her knees as she unwrapped it and placed it into her mouth, unrolling it onto his length as she took it down slowly. He pushed her in with a moan as he rolled back his head in pleasure. He’d swayed his hips against her, running his fingers through her soft hair. He could feel a small vibration of her chuckle at the tip of his cock before he entered down further. And a moan sweeter than honey blocked at her throat by his length left him harder than he already was. He groaned at love in the sound.

She lifted herself off from her knees to lay back again onto he brother’s lap, brushing feathery touches over his cheek as she nudged her hips closer to him. He felt the soft touch of her body against him. He felt the smooth curves of her body as he caressed over the whole of her torso. And he fell himself back into his bed, allowing them back into another extra hot night filled with only love. Then they fell asleep naked on each other.

They were awoken by the screams of their mother finding them in bed together. They quickly got dressed, but as soon as their father found them, he’d instantly kicked them out. He threw all their belongings out the window spouting words of repulsion against his own children. Things like ‘You’re an abomination,’ ‘so sickening,’ and cried along with their mother as he reassured her that ‘they no longer had any children.’ Their mother just cried, questioning why this had to happen to her.

They two gathered their belongings with broken hearts as they heard their parents quietly cleansing themselves in prays to their god to forgive them for their sins – and they weren’t talking for their children, mind you. The two gathered their belongings and set out for the road. Now it was time they had to fend for themselves. They’re the only family they’ve got. Now they had no one holding them back.

“I love you.” Dipper said with a smile as he caressed her hair with one hand as the other held the wheel of his car.

“I love you too.” She smiled back. They were finally free. Free to truly be themselves.

 

The fifth night was about how he first got into dancing.

Mabel caught eye of a club house that peaked her interest as they stopped their trip for a quick snack break. She instantly fell in love with the place as soon as she entered. With the music. With the people. How diverse it was with both men and women. How everyone always cheered merrily during every show. How there was no hate for either of the genders as she saw both men and women dancing above both genders in equal parts. Without her brother’s knowledge, she’d joined in out of impulse.

She beckoned her brother to stay in this town just a little longer, which he complied with a sigh. He instantly found out about it though, when she came home the next night covered head to toe in glitter. He stampeded to the club to make her quit as he yelled about how they dared to let an 18 year old join, but she pleaded him to let her do this. He could see the stars in her eyes as she pleaded in a way Dipper couldn’t resist. With a sigh, he allowed it, though he didn’t like it. But he could see the love she felt for this place in her eyes.

For the past week there, he was angered by her, although he still let her go. He was jealous at how willingly she danced in such a crowd what was meant only to leer at her as she danced, showing parts only he should be seeing.

And for the last night, he was a bit more forceful with her than usual, but she didn’t mind that much. In fact, she kind of enjoyed it. But he felt bad for it, and regretted hurting her although it was only just slightly. Then she suggested that he’d just join with her if he was so worried. And as soon as she thought of the idea, she perked up and started pestering her brother to join with her, saying that it’d be fun and how she’d enjoy it so much more if he was there with her.

At first, he was reluctant, but she looked like she earnestly enjoyed it there. Well, she wouldn’t be there if she didn’t like it after all. He finally unwillingly complied from her consistent requests and joined in with her.

Before long, he began enjoying dancing with her. He was a quick learner since he’d always watched Mabel dance for him and all he had to do was copy most of what Mabel did. He’d found joy in dancing with her. And he found love in dancing.

He’d found love for himself as he felt the confidence overflow him. He felt powerful. Like nothing he’d ever felt before. With Mabel, it helped him love who he was, even down to the birthmark he oh-so hated. The persona he created for himself at the club made him feel domineering. And with Mabel by his side, he felt like he could rule the world with her if he wanted to. He felt like their pair could reach the stars.

“See, what did I tell you? Fun right?” Glitter fluttered off of her star colored lids as they batted in a cooing tease.

Dipper tried to lower down the smile he didn’t even notice he’d taken, or hide it behind his hand at least, but the smile on Mabel’s face only grew. “Shut up, Mabel” he squeaked when he couldn’t find a retort for it, though not even trying to deny it.

She wrapped her shimmering arms around the waist that shined in a similar sparkle in the comfort of their secluded home. Dipper flustered his face away with a blush as she caressed her hand across the glitter makeup and stars she lined all across her brother’s face. “Glitter suits you” she chuckled.

He furrowed his glimmering brows as his (just as shiny) lips pouted in a childish scowl. “Glitter is not my thing. It’s yours. It suits you way more than it does me. I don’t even know why I went along with it.”

“Because you love me?” she cocked her head cutely to the side with a shimmering smile across her lips.

His crinkles between his brows wrinkled deeper as his childish scowl got bigger. “I hate how much I love you” he sulked softly through his teeth before pecking against glittery lips.

“Love you too” she hummed, pressing glitter against glitter as they both could taste the weird texture of speckles against their tongue.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been so long ; O ;

He wrote for days, maybe even weeks, he couldn’t tell.

He was just so angry. The way his blood boiled just at the thought of the boy. He couldn’t even see straight, much less think straight with how much the boy made him feel. Just the thought of it made his stomach churn and his lungs burn. All he could think about was the anger he had in him. His thoughts that strayed far past wanting to just yell at him, beat him, and hurt the boy for how much the boy had hurt him. It destroyed him. More than he’d ever felt before. It was an anger that curled in his fists and burned in his heart. He hated, and all he felt like he could do was hate. Sleeping and eating were far beyond his mind that only filled with red. And the more he hated, the angrier he got. Like feeding fire with fire. The more anger he found, the more he typed. Because that was the only thing he was allowed to do in this situation – or rather, it was the only thing he could ever do anymore. Words consumed his mind more than any violent acts nowadays that it seems he could only function straight if he was typing. Vile, wicked words that clouded his mind left his fingers to its keys till his screen was filled with soul-ripping, heart-wrenching stories. The more the boy filled his mind, the more he hated and the more he hurt. And he was hurting so much. Till he felt like his heart was about to break.

He felt the anger scorching in him, but as he learned as a writer, the more he wrote, the more he had to question the character’s ethics, their actions, and their reasons. He hit a wall when questioning to himself why the boy did what he did to him, and more importantly, what he was feeling. He had to question the boy’s heart, and once he did, he finally noticed after god knows how long thinking and typing. After endless nights of just writing. His anger had finally boiled down after a few days and he finally took it in himself to look at the truth. And that, to him, was the hardest thing he’d done in his life. Harder than feeling the hurtful hatred he had for the boy.

He didn’t understand it. He didn’t understand this love. This was his sister he was talking about. Birthed from the same mother and raised together in the same house. A person of the same blood, same hair, same eyes, same face. How did the boy not understand how vile this was? It was impossible. It was unthinkable. This was his sister. It was his fucking sister – his _twin_. He just couldn’t wrap his mind around it. He just didn’t understand it! But… he was sure the boy knew that fact much more than anyone. It was _his_ sister after all. _His_ sister…who was now gone from his life. It’s always so harder to understand than to just hate.

He thought back on every conversation he had about her. How every time he talked about her, his eyes glistened bright like the sun. He looked ever so happy talking about her. He loved talking about her so much despite not being able to be by her side, or her by his. He could feel just how much love he poured into every word he mentioned about her. All with no sorrow or sadness in each story. He’d been so happy with her that he couldn’t even find himself to be sad just from the thought of her.

Not only did he lose his sister, his twin, but he also lost a lover.

He lost “the most important person in the world” in his words. At the time Dipper said it, he hadn’t actually fully grasped his true meaning behind it, but now as soon as he did, he realized that he lost someone more important to him than he could ever be. He lost someone more important than Bill could ever wrap his mind around.

He lost not only his sister, but his family. The one he loves most, someone who’d been with him since birth through thick and thin. Someone who’d never once hurt him, who gave him only love, who’d spelt the meaning of his happiness as he’d explained many of ways through each thoughtful stories he’d told so blissfully about his beloved sister. Someone who’d love him like no other.

Every time he’d mention to him that he loved her, he truly meant it in more ways than one. In more ways than Bill could count. In more ways than the stars in the skies.

She was not a choice for him. She was the meaning of him. She was the reason he’s living.

Yet Bill was just a man who passed by in his life. He hadn’t known him for nearly as long as she did nor had he cared for him as much as she had. He was just a choice for him. Someone he could easily just throw away – yet he didn’t. He willingly went along with his selfishness despite his being for his sister. Yet Bill was the one who ended up treating him like trash after finally convincing him to become his. But now that he’d realized all this, there’s no way he’d be able to fix this. Not after how much he’d broken their trust. Their relationship.

After his anger finally boiled down, he was left with so much jealously for the love Dipper would never be able to give him. He felt the guilt rack up in him. And more than anything, he felt sadness.

He dug his hands deep into his face, feeling tears burning into his eyes once again. What the FUCK had he just done? He’d broken another perfect relationship just from his stupidity. Another beautiful love because of his anger. What? His anger could have been arguable? No. Not if he’d end up hurting the man he loved most. How the hell could that ever be arguable? No matter how angry he had gotten, how could he ever even think about hurting him? How can he be so stupid? His thoughts finally began to drift off as his heavy lids drooped down his eyes to a dark slumber, not even having enough energy to notice how hungry he actually was. He couldn’t even take it in himself to dream of the boy. All he saw was darkness… And that pained him all the more.

Bill woke up with a growl in his stomach and a burn in his eyes. It was night. Who knew how long he’d been sleeping. He wanted to see the boy again, but he doubted he would let him in. He didn’t want to have to stop him on his way to school or work, but there was no other way. Bill sat in his kitchen eating down the four packets of Hot Pockets that’s been sitting in his fridge for who knows how long. His thoughts wandered back to the boy. God, he was so stupid. He’s such an idiot. How could he do something like that? No, he’s going to apologize. He’s gonna do anything and everything to make this right again. He didn’t want this one to leave like his last. He can’t let this happen again. Not to him. He felt too special. He’s not gonna let this one go. Not unless every part of the boy hated him down to the core. The thought hurt the writer, but he didn’t want to let him go. If there was still even a pinch of love left for him in the boy, he wasn’t going to give up.

Bill woke up again after another 3 days of no sleep. He hadn’t once heard the boy descend down those stairs. He’d occasionally mistaken footsteps from random neighbors out of desperation, but was disappointed when none of them ended up being the boy. Bill just sat in his kitchen, writing at his notes of whatever came to his mind as he listened attentively for familiar footsteps. The notes filled with random ideas for his story, but most filled with thoughts of the boy. He needed to write his story, but he didn’t want to go back to his computer. Not when the flames of his anger heated in the file of hate he’d created for the boy. He didn’t want to look at it. He was too scared to remember all the hate he felt for the boy. He was scared that if he went back there, he’d see those words and feel his hate boil back up again. He didn’t want to hate him again.

It’s been days, and no sign of the boy was heard down the stairs. He’d even climbed up his table to try and hear any signs of footsteps from above, but nothing. He was starting to worry. If something happened to the boy because of him. If he…oh god… what if- what if he did something drastic? Something irreversible?! He nearly broke down at the mere thought of that. Bill rushed up the stairs faster than he could even think, banging on the door to find an answer, any answer from the boy. Nothing. He was starting to get uneasy. He didn’t want to barge into his home after what he did, but his anxieties were starting to get to him. He unlocked the door with the key he had given him, but he didn’t step in. He felt terrible coming in after what he did. He wasn’t supposed to be allowed into that house. But the thought of the boy made him anxious. If something happened… Bill stood under the doorway, shouting at the boy, but no answer. He took a minute to suck in his courage to take a step into that house. He crept quietly and carefully against the familiar floor as if not wanting to disturb the home. He called out to the boy at each room, but nothing. He wasn’t even there. Bill sighed, glad that he hadn’t done anything to himself at home, but his worry didn’t drop one bit. This means the boy hadn’t been home for days. Had he…run away? Run away from Bill like his previous boyfriend? No. That’s not right. Not when all of Mabel’s things were still here. Was he…out sleeping again? Each night? The thought clutched at his heart. The thought of the boy in pain because of him. Maybe he should ask the club members about him.

He reluctantly peaked through the club door and instantly met eyes with a familiar green hair.

“Oh, Bill. You here for Venus?” the green haired girl strutted up to the writer as he slowly poked his way into the club, rubbing his neck.

“Uh, n-no. I’m, uh, I’m here for…Dipper?”

“Dipper? What? He hadn’t told you? I thought you’d be the first to know.” She chuckled.

“Tell me? Tell me what? What happened?”

“He’s been on vacation for a few days.”

“What? When was this? D-Do you know when he’ll be back?” he asked not even trying to hide the desperation in his voice.

“…now that I think about it. Wasn’t he supposed to come back today?” she mumbled, thinking to herself.

“Hey, Carson. I’ll take it from here.” A blond haired girl smiled draping an arm over her shoulder. The girl just returned her smile and nodded before walking back to her work. Once the green haired girl left, the blond darted her eyes back to the writer.

“What did you do this time, Bill?” she sighed with a speck of distaste in her voice. She didn’t even leave room for the writer to find excuses as she continued, “you haven’t been coming for the past month and Dipper keeps avoiding the question whenever I ask about you. What did you do?”

“…was he…Did he sound depressed…or… angry?”

Pacifica furrowed her eyebrows at the question as she repeated with more worry in her voice, “what did you do Bill?”

But he didn’t answer. He couldn’t even look the blond in the eyes with his guilt crunching inside him.

When he didn’t answer after a while, she just sighed before answering to his previous question, “no. He didn’t. He was acting the same as always except whenever someone mentioned about you. He’d just push aside the topic whenever you came up.”

She saw the frown grow on his face. It looked as if he’d cry at any moment, and something like that that wasn’t anything like Bill at all. It was beginning to worry her. “Do you know where he is right now?”

She was startled by the sudden question. “Oh, um. No. No, he hadn’t told me…why don’t you just call him?” she asked, but he again didn’t answer. Whatever happened, it must’ve been serious… “…I’ll just call him, then…” He only slightly smiled and nodded in appreciation. With a sigh, she dialed…but he didn’t pick up. “That’s weird. He’s not answering…I wonder if something happened.” But when she saw the frown on his face grow, she instantly tried to comfort him – which was an odd sight in itself. “D-Don’t worry Bill. I’m sure he’s fine. I just texted him this morning anyway. I’m sure he’d just busy…Here, let me call Wendy. I’m sure she knows what’s up.” She redialed up her phone to call up the red headed girl she befriended over Christmas. Thankfully, she picked up. “Hey Wendy. I was just wondering if you knew where Dipper was. He was supposed to come back today right?....oh really?... uh-huh…oh ok. Thanks. Sorry to bother you. I’ll talk to you later then. Bye.” She hung up with a sigh, but smiled towards the writer none the less. “You don’t have to worry Bill. He’s just visiting family a few states down. He’s probably just down with his Grunkles or something. He should be back any time soon.”

Bill only gave a slight smile in response “…thanks…”

“…Do you wanna tell me what’s going on Bill?”

He answered in silence for a couple sentences before actually giving a response, “…I, uh….I hurt him…”

“Bill. What do you mean hurt?” she furrowed her brows back as she tried to reach for the writer, but he just pushed away the hand that tried to comfort him.

“I hurt him. Physically. Mentally. I hurt him bad Venus. I don’t know what to do.” She shocked as she saw the writer begin to shake. She didn’t know what was going on. But whatever he did, right now Bill looked so much more hurt than Dipper ever did this past month.

“Bill…” Despite the writer’s displeasure towards her attempts of comfort, she still wrapped her arms around him in a relaxing motion to calm the writer. “Whatever you did, I’m sure he won’t hold it against you Bill. I think I remember him telling me once, I wasn’t sure what he meant, but he said he doesn’t blame you. That it wasn’t your fault.”

She tried comforting the man, but she didn’t notice that it only made him feel all the worse. “…Thanks Pacifica…” but he wasn’t going to drag her along into his depression. He nudged her off and returned back to his home. She just watched his cold back hung over him as he exited the club.

He immediately went home and crashed onto his bed, crumbling the loose papers on his bed under his stomach. Dipper doesn’t blame him? It wasn’t his fault? How could that ever be possible? Those words dug into him deeper. If he wasn’t blaming Bill…he must be blaming himself more, and that hurt more than hating Bill.

It’d been nearly a little more than a month since he’d last seen the boy. Bill crumbled on his bed each day, thinking about him, barely getting any work done as he couldn’t even get close to his computer anymore. He just spent his days either writing in his notes or thinking in his bed. He barely ate and he barely slept. He just waited each day for the boy to return home. And when he did, it was not a happy one…and it was definitely not one he expected when anger again boiled in him when he met eyes with him.


	15. Chapter 15

After the week of dreaming of firsts with his sister, of all their happy memories, it was a shock to him when he’d dreamed of something other than his sister the nights after. It’s been years since he’d dreamed of anything other than his sister. And who he dreamt of was Bill. The disgust in his face. Repulsed by him. Not even wanting to touch his disgusting tainted skin. And he could feel it tear him down inside. He hated it.

He didn’t know what to do. For weeks he could only see the same disgusted face Bill held. He couldn’t get it out of his head. He wanted to dream of his sister again. Despite how much it hurt him each night, he wanted to see his sister again. Each night without his sister he could feel the memory of her face leaving his mind as it replaced with his face. The face of utter revulsion.

It repeated over and over in his mind. The repulsion. The disgust. Bill, over and over again. It was starting to make him feel nauseated towards his own love he held for his sister – the same love that he held close like no other. The same love that he gave everything for. He’d never felt like this before. Not when his parents found him. Not when they’d thrown them both away, calling them abominations as they tore away the hearts of their children and buried it 6 feet under just so they don’t have to look at them anymore. Not if Mabel loved him all the same as he did. Because she loved him, he’d never had a reason to question it. But for some reason, when the same words his parents had told him were said from Bill, it cut him deeper than anything he’d ever felt.

He didn’t want Bill to feel disgust towards him. It pained him to see him so repulsed. He knew no one would understand his love he felt for her, that was one of the reasons why he never told anyone, but he never expected that his disgust would hurt him so much. He was never thought of disgust to ever be a problem if ever someone found out since the worst he’d ever felt was when his parents had already given them the most painful words he’d ever felt. He thought he’d been prepared for it. He thought that repulsion would be nothing to him anymore. He thought he was over it, and he really had been. But, for whatever reason, he never thought the same words he heard from his parents come out of Bill’s lips that it would feel so much worse. It tore him up at how much this feeling was breaking into him.

Because of him, he began regretting loving Mabel. He didn’t want to, and it hurt him even more that he felt that way about himself and Mabel. He was starting to feel his pure love for Mabel starting to taint. His words cut way too deep into his heart that it began poisoning his love for Mabel. The man made him feel regret for loving the most important person in the world. How could he possibly feel shame for the love he never once doubted? He hated it. It melted his heart like acid at how Bill’s infectious poison spread through to his innocent love. He hated it.

He just wanted to feel his love for her again. He just wanted to feel its purity again. Its white innocence. But it pained him at each mention of that man. He tried to act like it was nothing, but just the thought of him make him want to curl up and cry. He needed a break from it. He needed his love back. So he left. And all he took was the small sweet ring of his once treasurable love. It wrapped around his finger in a tight embrace like she was there with him once more. As if she was there fitted hand and hand with him.

\--

Bill sat in his kitchen for a few more days waiting for the boy to return. He missed him. His warmth, his smile, his sweet voice, everything. Then he heard it. As he was nodding off and barely keeping awake at his kitchen table, he heard the familiar footsteps of him ascending up the stairs. He couldn’t doubt it. It was him! He slammed the door only meet eyes with shocked brown orbs. He’d nearly shouted out to him in joy, but froze at the sight of him. With wide eyes, Bill looked the boy up and down with disbelief at the sight. He could feel anger boil up in him again. “Dipper… what happened to you?” he hissed.

The boy flinched at the words, clutching tighter at the cast the slung around his arm. He could see the fear behind his bruised, purple eye. He lined his eyes over the shaking skin, covered in scratches, bruises, and bandages. “Who did this to you?!” The boy nearly fell over as he took a step back away from the man. In fear, when the man took a step towards him, the boy almost dashed back to his room if it weren’t for the arm that shot to the boy as it slammed him to the wall of their hall. “Answer me! Who did this to you?!”

The boy whimpered as his back slammed back against the wall. With shaky hands, the man slowly lined the back of his hand down the swollen cheek, wondering if it was actually him who had done this to him. It would be no surprise if he did and it scared him no less, but it wasn’t him. He hadn’t seen him in over a month. Who could’ve done this to him? “Dipper…” his voice shook at the sight of the boy.

But at the sound, the boy’s trembling hand slapped the gentle hand caressing him. “If you’re gonna beat me, hurry up and beat me. I don’t wanna hear your words.” The sudden actions of the boy, his words, his strong voice, it tore out Bill’s heart with guilt.

“D-Dipper, I’m not gonna-” his words choked up in his throat before the boy shoved the man away.

“I said I don’t wanna hear it! I’d rather you beat me than hear your fucking voice again!” Tears filled his eyes as he shouted out in anger at the man and Bill could feel a burn starting up in his eyes again. His mind fell blank at how much he’d wounded the boy and how much he’d wounded him. He fell back to the boy when he started to stomp away from the man.

“W-wait Dipper,” his voice squeaked softly as he grabbed onto his free wrist, “…what…what happened…” He was scared to ask. He didn’t want to know what happened to him, but he wanted to know who did this to him. He wanted to make sure if it wasn’t actually him who’d hurt him like this.

The boy tore his arm away from the man as his tear-filled eyes boiled back to him. Bill saw the wrist he’d just held was already bruised purple with a handprint. If it was actually him who’d done this, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. “You wanna know what happened?” he hissed before shouting, “You wanna know what fucking happened?!” His eyes were dark behind those tears. Something he’d never seen before in him. “I told them!” His words began breaking down into sobs as he continued his shouts. He took off the ring wrapped around the finger of his casted arm and stuck it in front of the man. “You see this ring, Bill? I went home and I told them! I told them I was going to propose! I told them I was going to marry her! And you know what he did to me?! My dad threw me out the fucking window!!”  Out of anger, out of spite, he’d thrown the ring at the man’s face. He couldn’t even hold out the sobs that crawled out of his throat. “I love her, Bill! I don’t know what I can do without her! I miss her too much… I just… I just wanted to feel her love again…” his sobs chopped up the anger in his voice into desperate cries as he tried rubbing away his teary vision that wouldn’t stop.

From his words, from the hurt he saw the boy feel, he couldn’t hold back the tears from his own eyes. “Dipper I- I’m so-”

“Fuck you Bill! Just shut up! You did this! It’s all your fault! I don’t want you shitting on me again! I don’t want you tainting her! Just please…stop…”

He…his words hurt him so much more than his fists… The boy couldn’t even hear his voice without breaking down into a heavier cry. There was nothing he could do to help him. He was the last person in the world who could be able to comfort him. All he could do was stammer his mouth in a loss as tears rolled down his cheek. He couldn’t even take it in himself to reach to the boy as he ran up the stairs, cries resounding down the halls. He heard a slam from the floor above and it shook him out of his shock. Once the shock slowly began to fade, tears fell heavier down his face. He saw a twinkle shine from the floor. His ring. He picked it up slowly and carefully, as if his fingers would dirty it more than the floor. He rubbed down the border of it, but his fingers couldn’t clean off the dirt stained on its side.

He returned back to his home, eyeing only the ring with careful eyes. No matter how much he scrubbed it with his fingers, the grime wouldn’t come off. He’d shaken out of his daze when he suddenly bumped into a table. He was back to his computer room. From his bump, it’d moved his mouse and revealed to him again the hate-filled story he’d remembered he wrote. Just a flash of the words made his knees weak as he broke down onto the ground. He couldn’t even hold out his breath anymore as it clenched up in his lungs. Those tainted words he wrote. The revulsion it held out for him.

That face flashed back to him. Filled with pain. With blood and bruises. With tears and so much sorrow. And those dark eyes, eyes he’d loved so much, lost so much of its shine. Like he could no longer see even a glisten of stars in them. Like he didn’t even know whose they belonged to anymore. Those pure, sweet eyes had change this drastically because of him. Because of what he did – of what he said.

What had he done? What…had he done to him? He’d dirtied him. How can he clean this mess he’d made? How can he clean this love again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I was going to have Dipper have amnesia after his dad threw him out the window and have him forget nearly all memories of Bill. He’d remember just up until he became friends with him/when they first talked about the book together. Before he lost his memory, he would have already forgiven Bill as he said something along the lines of ‘if Bill apologized, he would’ve forgiven him since Mabel wouldn’t want him to hold it against him if he really didn’t mean it’ or something. But I didn’t like the idea so I tossed it and wrote this instead. I like this better.


End file.
